Alice In Chains
by CodyRhodesFan
Summary: Jasper wakes up to find out that he's been imagining that he and Alice Cullen are married. He's in a hospital and he keeps speaking about Alice. Carlisle wonders how did Jasper know about his daughter. Jasper/Alice. COMPLETE!
1. Prologue

**A JasperAlice fic because I love them more than I'm supposed to. And there are mentions of themes but no explicit.  
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**Here you go... this is just the prologue. So hopefully I like it.**

**I own nothing.  
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Man, I must've been on drugs.

I mean, how many times do you wake up and find out that you were imagining an entire life with vampires? How many times do you wake up and remember all of that? I didn't know but man, I needed a dose of morphine. My freaking back was killing me. And the nurses - ugh - if I didn't get out of here soon, I was going to be blind. What type of hospital didn't have any hot nurses? My head hit the pillow and I tried to breathe.

I didn't remember much.

Just this girl named Alice.

I didn't speak much about her but all my thoughts were slurred together so yeah, I probably looked like one of those patients they shocked to death. My head was pounding inside out but oh well, if I died, at least I knew I had a brain. A doctor walked inside and I knew it was Carlisle so I smiled at him and damn it, I was sure I looked like a grinning dope. I sighed. "What did I screw up? Drugs?"

"Not drugs," he touched my forehead. "Charlotte and Peter brought you here because you hit your head hard and you fainted. They thought you must have amnesia."

"Yeah, yeah," I moaned. I remembered Peter and Charlotte. My high school buddies but what I remembered was that Peter and Charlotte were vampires and that they were training me to fight newborns. God, I must've hit my head hard. "By any chance, where's Alice?"

Okay.

Here was what I was:

An idiot.

Carlisle blinked. "I'm sorry. I've never heard a friend of yours with the name, Alice--"

"She wasn't my friend. She's my wife." I told him sternly. "I married her. She's known as Alice Cullen."

Boy, I sounded like a broken record.

Carlisle was silent.

Silence.

Silence.

I was going to fall asleep.

Silence.

"How did you know about my daughter?"

And here we go.

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**There you go. A prologue for 'Alice In Chains' which is the name of a band by the way.**

**;) Gab**


	2. Edward In Anger

**Here you go. Another chapter to satsify JasperAlice fans! :D I can't imagine. 11 reviews?? And this is just the beginning!**

**Here is another chapter of 'Alice In Chains' and I hope it's as good as I intended to make it. Okay, let's start this chapter before I spill out the entire chapter's contents in the author's note. Boy, I'm like that. Boring and tedious.**

**There JasperAlice will be there soon. And on my profile, you will find an EdwardBella idea that had been bugging me for a while so there you go. :D I do not own Twilight or anything. I just own Jasper...okay, I don't own Jasper either. So what?**

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**Chapter 1 - Edward In Anger**

I've never seen a boy who wants to kill me before.

He had this sorta got a half crazed, vampire-boy, gonna-kill-you-know look on his face as he walks towards me. His walk was so stiff that I keep staring at him as he walked. Don't make fun of him, kids. He had gotten a rare disease called Let's Kill Jasper and his symptoms were anger and hate for Jasper because idiot Jasper was talking about Alice Cullen as his wife. Edward walked towards me, his eyes locked to mine as I wondered if he's on drugs, too.

I really wanted a dose of heroin.

At least when I die, I'd die thinking about banging that Alice girl.

His eyes widened with anger as he grabbed onto my body and started to shake me constantly. "Edward!" the doctor exclaimed but he didn't stop. He just shook me hard as he demanded things that slurred together like: pony, rainbow, and pretty flowers but then, I realized that he really wasn't two years old and that he was actually threatening to rip my head off if I didn't stop. Didn't stop what? The only thing that was bad in me was the thoughts of banging his sister.

Edward threw me towards the bedside, let me hit my head on the wall and I breathed in and out.

"If you ever think about my sister like that again. I swear..."

Hi, Daddy.

Like I needed a lecture from him. My dad didn't talk to me this way.

Carlisle walked towards me and put his hand on my forehead to test for my temperature. I shook him off. "Just let me get outta here, doc. I see I'm not wanted here."

Carlisle shook his head at me. Like he cared. "Edward, please, he knows Alice."

"He thinks that Alice's his wife!"

Carlisle sat beside me on a chair. His hand was on my arm and he stroked it gently. "What did you remember before any of that?"

"We were fighting." I gasped. I could feel my face turn bone pale and I could feel as if my lungs couldn't hold in any air at all. My heart was speeding and my head pounded even more. Okay, I knew I had a brain and a heart. That was a good way to die, right? I shook my head. "Not with this psycho around. Where did you escape from? The CIA and FBI are looking for you."

"Funny, idiot," Edward retarded, sarcasm dipped in his tone. "Just stop thinking about my sister, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Like that would happen. If you could control what I see, I'll bet you'd make me see how you'd kill me. If you will kill me, do it now. Why not? I basically only remember Charlotte and Peter...and...Alice..." I stammered, thinking about how Alice looked like. Her devine beauty. Her beautiful golden orbs. Her short pixie hair glistening black. Edward looked like he'd slap me.

Boy, some crush I had. I felt like I've known her for a while.

And everything started to go hazy.

Carlisle jumped again, held my shoulder so I'd stay in place. "Edward, he's crashing!"

Crashing?

I could hear voices of beeping. Beeping. Beeping.

Edward held my shoulders so I'd stay in place while Carlisle - hazy, hazy, hazy. Man, watching Peter eat worms was easier. Not this! Not freaking this. And I felt Edward press me down onto the bed, not in anger, but so I'd stay in place - even better. It was either he was getting tired or it was because I was struggling and hurting myself. The beeping didn't stop. I felt like I was in a computer lab with a messed up computer.

_"Jasper?"_

Her voice. Sweet. Devine. Perfect. Honey-glazed. So far away.

_"Jasper? Where are you?"_

Heaven. God, take me away!

And everything just went black, but the beeping went regularly again. "I think he's in a coma." Carlisle's voice ragged through my head.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Carlisle repeated. "Jasper, can you hear us?"

Yeah, yeah. I can hear you. Loud and clear. Would you stop screaming?

What the hell?

It was all black.

And better than Edward looking like he was trying to kill me.

"I can hear that!"

Oh great.

* * *

_Alice..._

_She was standing there, an umbrella in her hand and it was raining, raining, raining._

_And I was a sleazy drunk there, looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. Take that, Charlotte! There were girls that looked better than you. But then as Alice walked towards me, I felt my heart stop. As corny as that sounded, I felt like I'd drop dead from shock. She was walking to me. And boy, she looked good, smiling and grinning. She was skipping, dancing, perfect. "Jasper?"_

_That voice I heard before everything went black._

_Beautiful._

_(Boy, I was lame.)_

_"Jasper? Where are you?" She was still holding her umbrella._

_A sign of abodement. A sign of insecurity._

_"Hell."_

_Because there's no room for me in Heaven._

_(A boy can't get any lamer than this. Is this what I can't get a date?)_

_

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_

Everything was still black.

And I bet he can still hear my thoughts.

"I can."

_Didn't he ever sleep? Didn't he ever go home?_

"It's morning."

_Oh great_. He can hear my thoughts and he came here early morning. _School?_

"It's Friday."

_Had I really been out for--_

"Two days."

_Will I wake up?_

"You don't find that this entire 'I can read your mind thing' is kinda odd?"

_No. I saw you do it before, cheese ball. It's nothing new._

"What?! Dad! He says that he knows that I can hear his thoughts!"

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**Another chapter and hopefully, it's good.**

**:P Review?**


	3. Carlisle In Confusion

**And...here is where the plot twists.**

**Hopefully, it doesn't scare you. :P**

**I do not own Twilight. I only wish I own Jasper but I don't so there. Warning! A slight mention of themes. Almost like BD; slightly. I warned all of you.**

**By the way, I made an BxE called 13 Ways to Bleed on Paper. This is an angst story so you may like it. You may hate it. If you'd review, it'll be much appreciated.  
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**Chapter 2 - Carlisle In Confusion**

Have you ever seen the doctor look at you like you were insane for a moment then told you when you were in a coma that you're not insane? Funny, Carlisle. Funny.

I should tell this story to Peter. It was way better than that summer where he dared me to his pet worm. Yuck. Tasted like a cheese ball dipped in chicken. I wondered if Peter even knew I was in a hospital. I can hear him now: "It was about time, Jasper. We knew this would happen to you sooner or later." He'd be all jokey and all but what I remembered from Peter in another part of my brain: that he was serious and he loved Charlotte with all of his heart...

I _really _hit my head hard.

And why the hell was I in a coma?

Carlisle asked me. "Do you want to know why you're in a coma?"

I tried to move.

Yeah, expect a coma patient to talk back to you. Just wait until I invite you into my mind and we'll have a nice chat and talk about how I thought about banging his daughter. Yeah. I can really talk. I can hear Peter now too: "He finally shut up." Yeah, I finally did. I knew I can shut up for more than one hour! Take that, Peter! Carlisle poked my shoulder to--poke my shoulder. Was I a doctor, idiot?

I didn't know this medical junk. I wasn't a doctor. I didn't even know how to get a B in biology.

Stop laughing!

"Your drugs are shutting down your system."

I could hear myself grunt. "Jasper, I need to change your liver. Your liver's failing and you-"

"I love her."

In the blackness, I can still see her imprinted in my head. I can only think about her. I can only think about her beauty and her face and her eyes and all of her. I can see her, naked. I can see her, with clothing clung down her body. I can see her, as she kissed my face, pressing her body close to mine. And I can see her bra and her panties. I knew the colors of her bras and undies and I knew just everything about her. I knew the favorite color of her bra; lace black and the favorite color of her undies; silk red. And I can smell her. She smelt like sweat and flowers and--perfection.

And she stood out in front of everything and everyone in a crowd.

"Dad, he's thinking of Alice like-like-"and whispers into his ear.

Secrets. Lies. Deceptions. Carlisle suddenly jumped. "W-what?" he repeated, his voice was raspy and there was a streak of pain inside of his pulsing throbbing voice. His voice was slightly shaky. "Why is he thinking like this about Alice?"

_Because she's my wife. Of course._

And suddenly, there was a bang of everything. Alice was my wife. She was beautiful in bed. And out. She was all I ever wanted. She set fire inside of my body. She made me feel complete and perfect. She made me feel like there was hope in the world for everything. She was happy. She had black pixie hair that made me look at her as cute. She had such a fire lightened in her eyes that made her look hot. She had everything. She was everything. She was Alice. And I wanted her so bad.

"I want Alice!"

Those words slip out of my mouth like they were caged in for a long time.

"I love Alice!"

"Dad, if you let her near Alice..."

"I won't. Don't worry, Edward. For now, he's in a coma. He can't do anything. I'm sorry, Jasper. But I can't have you thinking like this about my daughter."

Oh yeah? Can you have my heart breaking? Can you have me hit Edward in the face? Can you have my heart breaking into two pieces? Can you let my blood fall from my heart? Can you ban Alice from me for the rest of my life? Can you?! You can't have me thinking about your daughter? Oh sweet. Just like my father can't have me thinking about banging that girl in Spanish class. Just like Peter can't have me thinking about Charlotte in any sexual way.

It was just thoughts.

"I'm not doing the surgery. I'd die. Just bring Alice!"

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_Alice..._

_Alice in Horrorland._

_She was walking down the house's hallways. And stopped by at the drawers, the cookies out but as she dug her hands inside of the bowl and she got two identical pieces of cookie hearts. They looked bitter and had pink icing and I could taste the pink color inside of my mouth. Creativity. Love. Softness. Care. All in one lick of the tongue. She bit her cookie and then, there was an earthquake._

_Blood..._

_Blood everywhere._

_Alice was alone. All alone._

_Blood down onto the floor._

_And there, she was, exploded, onto the ground. Dead._

_And my soul died too._

_But she was smiling. She was smiling. She was smiling. She was reaching._

_(Out for a drunk addict that can't get a B in biology. Can never let it go.)_

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I was alone for a while.

Edward was probably there, listening to my thoughts. _Because really, he didn't have a life._

"Hey, I have a life!"

_Oh yeah? Why the hell are you listening to my mind then?_

"Because you keep thinking about my sister. I have to plan how gruesome your death shall be."

_Okay, Shakespeare._

"Speaks the one who can't get a B in biology."

_Hey! _

"Edward?"

"Yes, Dad?"

"Is Jasper still in a coma?"

_No. I'm such a freak that the waking up is just like falling asleep._

"Yeah, since you can't get a B in biology. You can't tell the difference!"

_Oh, shut up._

_

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_

Have you ever felt like you knew anyone?

I knew Alice.

A little too well. She was getting fuzzy. She almost out of my head.

No. I wanted Alice. I wanted to be the Jasper that she had before; the one I was before I woke up to find myself in a hospital. Damn it, I was in a hospital and I was believing in a girl I saw in my dreams. So what if her name was Alice Cullen? I probably heard it from someone and because of my lack of creativity (stupid English class), I used it as my dream girl. I can't see anyone anymore.

And no one can be that beautiful.

Can they?

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Then I heard a beautiful female voice.

"Jasper?"

It wasn't like the Alice in my dreams, where her voice was glazed in honey.

This voice was glazed with cream and sweet candy.

"So this is the boy that's been stealing my boyfriend."

"Yeah."

She gasped. "He can talk?"

"He can't open his eyes. So we say that he's in a coma. Even if he can talk back. He's fully conscious. Sometimes, he has dreams about Alice."

_Not anymore._

"Good then."

"I'm Bella Swan."

I've seen her too but she sounded just as I thought she would. Somewhat like Alice, with a twig of her own personality. Beautiful and perfect. Even if she wasn't like Alice, she was real. Alice wasn't real. Alice was a girl I heard about and I used her to create this fantasy girl in my sleep that didn't exist and I can see Bella perfectly. Even with my eyes closed and the darkness blinding me.

_I am pathetic. Someone kill me before I start falling in love with Edward Jerk-o._

"Boy, when I calm down, you just find something to make me want to kill you again, huh? Stop thinking like that!"

"I would. But I can't control my thoughts."

_Did Peter know that. Even without him freaky-reading my mind, he can say everyone I know and what I think about. When was the last time I thought about something other than a chick? Oh yeah, there was that one time where that dog pooped on the floor and I wasn't thinking about girls. I was thinking that the dog really wasn't a chick because boy, a chick didn't act so disgusting._

_Nah, that was me and Peter. We were disgusting._

"You keep jumping from thing to thing."

"Stop listening!"

Bella's silent through it all. _I wanted to hear her voice._

I can almost hear Edward's bones crack with displease. I can hear him growl under his breath. He'd rip me and eat me. Finally, he'd eat something. _He never left the damn room. He must be hungry. I was his new meal._

"Don't make me make you into a meal..."

"Whitlock."

"Whitlock?"

"Yup," I tried to smile but my face was frozen. I wondered if my mouth was wide open, how stupid would I look like? If my mouth was open, then a fly would've gotten in surely. "Bella."

She gasped again. "He's just--his eyes are closed so it's kinda weird but interesting." She stepped towards me, holding my hand and her touch brought warmth and coldness to my body. It was a feeling of serenity

"Kinda?"

"I've seen weirder."

"You don't know the half of it." Unless you dreamed about a girl named Alice who was your wife and who had this happy aura around her and who exploded once in your dreams and who-who-_boy, I needed a drink of water._

_And a glass of beer._

"Beer?"

So what?

_I swear that wasn't the reason why I couldn't get B's in biology!

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**A long nice chapter of Alice In Chains, what more do you want?**

**;) Gab**


	4. Jasper In Danger? Part 1

**I wanted to finish two chapters in one day but at the same time, I wanted to check over them. I want to update regularly; daily but chapters that aren't just; oh so what? And whatever. I wanted them to have some sort of meaning. I wanted them to be cool. So guessing from your reviews; they're cool.**

**I don't own anything and I don't want to repeat this for most of the story.**

**Enjoy reading and remember to review!**

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**Chapter 3 - Jasper In Danger? Part 1**

I wanted to wake up.

Not only because I wanted to wake up. Skipping class in any way was good and I didn't want to look at the nurses anymore. I just wanted to look at Bella. Alice was still in my mind. They were fighting. Sometimes, it was Bella. Sometimes, it was still Alice. Alice wasn't real. I kept telling myself but my mind wouldn't comprehend. I wasn't married to her. She wasn't this happy cheery girl because she wasn't real.

And it was hard for me to repeat that over and over.

It was like reading a test over and over for errors. Boring and hard to do. Why torture us through the pain of a test again?

Teachers were sadistic and demons to say we have to review after a test.

And this was like that. I guess I was sadistic too, repeating all of that in my head. Carlisle still talked to me about the operation. How someone was going to risk his life so I could have half of a good liver. He said that he was testing everyone he can. He tested Bella too. I was AB negative. I remembered that and Bella was an O negative. No way that I take her liver. I didn't want to. It was crazy. It was insane.

Bella said she'd think about it.

Edward told me to go jump off a cliff.

"I would if I can. Can you wheel me to the nearest cliff?"

So yeah, I was in love.

With Bella Swan.

And Alice Cullen.

And I wasn't going to say anymore because this wasn't a cliche love story.

It was a cliche drug addict's story.

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The next day, Bella brought her friend. His name was Jacob and two words: annoying idiot.

Sorry to anyone who knew him, it was just that. He was so damn annoying. He kept on making fun of the fact that I was asleep but can talk. "What? Bella that uneasy on the eye?" that hurt too because I liked Bella. I liked Bella a lot. Edward wasn't there. Bella said he was hiking. Yeah, right. Go hike and bring me back a grizzly bear, okay? "If I tell you that I got a porn movie, would you open your eyes, sleepy-head?"

Damn it.

If he did have a porn movie though... I'd try my best. What? I'm a man and a man had needs.

That day, I started mumbling words out of my thoughts. Carlisle said that was normal due to my condition. It was because of my drugs, too. Drugs had unknown affects on people. For me, it was speaking my damn thoughts out of my mouth.

Peter was right.

I couldn't shut up.

He'd be happy to hear that.

"Alice is beautiful."

I could hear Jacob snigger at that. "He made a full sentence! Good boy."

"Shut up, Jake."

"Oh, so now it's Jake, huh?"

"Yeah, yeah." I was imgaining him in the darkness. But I couldn't find anything that seemed appropriate for the name Jacob. I saw black hair but nothing else. I saw black hair because I was in the darkness. Nice, darkness. Quiet and Alice's images were imprinted in my head. Ha. No Alice holding an umbrella, No Bella...umbrella.. and Bella. Those two things seemed to almost rhyme. That was why I was thinking of Bella? That was why I thought I knew her.

"Bella Swan...Jacob Black..."

What the hell? I was mentally deranged.

I remembered Jacob Black now. Black haired, dark eyed, russet flesh...

"Hey, dude, how'd you know my last name?"

Ah damn it.

* * *

Did anyone ever tell me that now that I was slowly living in the reality world but slowly remembering what happened before the blackness overwashed me?

I believed in vampires.

And werewolves.

And...damn.

* * *

"I don't know."

Well, it was the truth. Should I tell him that I dreamed up everything? That I dreamed this life when I hit my head?

"Alice..."

"Yeah, we get that you know her."

I could almost feel Bella blink.

Feel her blink? That's rich.

"Edward..."

"Yeah, yeah. The bloodsucker."

"Jacob..."

"Me! You know who I am..."

"Bella..."

"Bells is sorta hard to forget. Not that she'll let you forget."

"Hey, Jake!"

"Rosalie..."

"Yeah, the blonde."

"Emmett..."

"Her stud muffin."

"Esme..."

"The doctor's wife."

"Carlisle..."

"The doctor."

"James."

"Huh?"

"Victoria."

"Okay, again. Huh?"

Bella seemed to be frozen. I could feel that. She was walking towards me, touching my face. "What, Jasper? How did you know? Are you okay?" she seemed concerned. Because she had this secret. I knew that the word was at the tip of my tongue but I didn't want to speak it out. I wanted to stay on my cot and keep on thinking that the dog was annoying but no. I felt my body tense slowly.

"Jasper?"

"Vampires. Werewolves."

Jacob suddenly dropped something. I thought it was a syringe.

"This guy is crazy."

And then, there was another voice in the room. "This guy is Jasper Whitlock. And is going to die because of the Volturi. He shouldn't know about the supernatural. Not about vampires and I don't know much about the werewolves but as sure as Hell, he'll die."

It was Edward's voice.

And man, was I in trouble.

When was I not?

Can't I go one day without getting arrested?

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**Hmm...I had to add that about the Volturi. I already have an ending bugging me.  
**

**;) Gab**


	5. Jasper In Danger? Part 2

**Okay. I finished this the first time I wrote 'Jasper In Danger? Part 1' so hopefully, this will make you buzzing happy.**

**I hope to make people happy with this fic. I hope to finish this entire story as fast as possible because...I like finishing stuff.**

**Yeah, I like finishing stuff. :P**

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**Chapter 4 - Jasper In Danger? Part 2**

I was going to die because of vampires.

I had a dream about vampires.

And it was all true.

Except the part where I married Alice Brandon.

And why the hell was I calling her Alice Brandon? Her name was Alice Cullen.

Any chance I can get a spot of booze before I died?

* * *

Carlisle knew everything now.

I wanted Alice. He wanted me to cooperate. Try opening my eyes or I'd die if I didn't flee the country soon.

Carlisle said that I was getting pale. "Seriously pale."

"Hmm...as pale as Edward?"

"No. Paler. We think you're cold. Are you cold, Jasper?"

"Freezing. I thought I'd die from coldness. As stupid as that sounded."

Carlisle touched my forehead and I felt a shocking coldness inside of me. Great. I really was going to die from coldness. "Can you try opening your eyes?"

"I can try."

Carlisle waited.

Edward was impatient so he decided to break the silence that weighed the room so heavily. "So?"

"I didn't say I'd do it. I want Alice."

"No way you're going to touch my sister, you perv--"

"Edward!" Carlisle cut him.

Fun-ny.

Carlisle 1 Edward 0.

"I'm afraid I can't have you around my daughter."

Okay.

Carlisle 1 Edward 1.

Jasper 0.

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When Bella tried to cajole me into trying to open my eyes, I didn't do anything but shake my head. Even shaking my head hurt my brain. Was my brain still there? I thought it blowed out a few hours ago. Bella touched my face and she asked and asked and asked me to try but I refused. I wanted Alice. Why can't they just let me see her? Whoa, I can't even undress her. Just to feel her presence in the room.

Just to hear her voice.

I wanted to know that.

Bella's voice was beautiful but even in my dreams, Alice's was much more beautiful. Her voice was perfect.

"Jasper..."

She was grabbing onto me. I thought of Alice. Of every breath she took and I kissed Bella.

You know what a girl did when she had a boyfriend and a coma guy who can speak and move started to kiss her?

She punched him in the face.

* * *

"Ah! Not again!"

A crack sound.

I thought I broke her bone.

Served you right, little girl.

* * *

"You seriously need to stop punching men in the face."

Edward was happy that she hit me. And was angry that I kissed her, especially with the dirty thoughts of his sister still in my head, but God, I needed her. I needed to remember everything. And I was losing those memories. I was losing Alice. She was starting to blur. Everything was starting to blur. I wanted to know how I knew about Rosalie and how I knew about Emmett, Alice, Bella, Jacob, Edward, Carlisle, Esme...everyone. I wanted to know why I felt like they were a part of my family whenever I was with them.

"They just break your bones."

"I know. And he's just human."

"I know. He smells nice."

"If you bite him, I won't mind."

"Yeah, you won't mind it. But he'll be a vampire by then. I don't think I'd like drinking a blood of a boy who thought those thoughts about my sister and kissed my girlfriend. And if he did become a vampire, the Volutri wouldn't care."

I finally spoke. "Newborns. They're vicious."

"Dude...where did you learn that from?"

"From my mind."

"You're crazy."

"Tell me about it."

I finally admitted it. I was crazy.

And boy, that felt good.

* * *

_Alice..._

_She was still holding the umbrella. Looking at me. "Why did you kiss Bella, Jasper?"_

_"I thought she was you."_

_And the rain started to fall._

_Sadness._

_Alice..._

* * *

Carlisle finally decided to bring Alice.

And you know how happy I was? My brain was going to explode and my heart was about to burst from happiness. And boy, Edward hated the fact. But you know...it was Jasper 1 point now. We were all a tie. And by the time she was here, she froze. I felt her freeze. I can feel her emotion. I can feel the fact that she was frozen in place and that her breathing was irregular. It was almost as if she was a part of me.

"Had a vision?"

"Seriously, who was he?!" Edward exclaimed. He was amazed that I knew but I guess part of me thought that he always knew.

"Edward..." her voice. As perfect as my mind protrayed it. Bella was at the back of my head now. "Carlisle's patient. He was in my vision."

"And?"

"He was dying."

"I should arrange a party."

"Edward!"

"What?"

God, I was ready to die.

Can I have booze?

"That was why he can't get B's in biology. He's going to die and he wants booze."

Dude, what else can I want?

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**Hmm...there you go. Alice finally gets to meet Jasper!**

**;) Gab**


	6. Jasper In Danger? Part 3

**Next chapter. Yay! :D**

**Chapter 5 - Jasper In Danger? Part 3**

I had four words for you, my brother.

I would make them as manly as possible. Really.

I WANT MY MOMMY!

Great, Jasper. Just great.

* * *

That morning, I heard two brown boots hit the floor.

I knew that she had a black skirt and a white t-shirt. She always wore brown boots with a black skirt and a white t-shirt. I could almost see her face and her hair. I could almost see her black eyes and her blonde hair. Tiny little Charlotte. And there was a pounding of black sneakers alongside of her too, Peter. I knew it. I knew that he came around, had the same brown hair and the same aftershave (bugs probably still followed him) and that he was probably laughing at me.

Carlisle and Edward were in the room. Because really, they never slept. They were vampires and I was insane. And I'd wake up in a psycho ward. If nurses weren't hot here then how would they look like in a psycho word? I welcome death with my hands in that case. Maybe death wanted a cheese cake, too. I knew I wanted some. I was eating from an IV injection, who can blame me?

"Charlotte!" Peter exclaimed, with a tone of shock in his voice. "Guess what? Jazz finally shut up!"

"He'll speak soon."

"He's in a coma."

"Your point?"

And as Charlotte made her way towards me, she was wobbling around. Peter was probably smirking because he caught sight of her bra or sometihng. Grow up, Peter. Her bra wasn't that hot. Okay, so what if her bras were lacy and showed her breasts more than they covered them--what was I saying again? That Edward idiot was brainwashing me! Of course Charlotte's bra should matter most to Peter. Not his in a coma friend.

When Charlotte poked me, I felt like moving. I can't. This must go away. I wanted to die with a bottle of booze in my hand and a hottie in my other one, thank you very much. Edward growled at my thoughts. What, Eddie? Was it sexist for you, girls? I got bad news for you, Edward. Your transexual surgery didn't go as well as you think. "I didn't undergo through a transexual surgery." Sorry, Edward, I didn't know you were so protective of your used to be female life. I'm sorry. Don't worry. I'll rent The Notebook for you. (By the way, I did not watch The Notebook. I was a man and no one forced me to watch it. And it was not teary...Especially the part where she realized who she was and she went into her own world again...Again, I did not watch The Notebook.)

"You're finally speaking. How is it like being in a coma for a year?"

Well..."Wait, Coma for A YEAR?!"

"Yes," she managed to squeak out. "A year, Jasper. You had low blood pressure. You were going to die. They had to put you in a coma. We didn't know if you'd ever wake up. They said you were dreaming the entire time."

"No, they were not dreams. They were real!"

"Oh, poor Jazz..."

"Hey, this is not a chick flick to say 'poor Jazz', okay?"

"You can cry, Jasper."

"Cry? Edward, here, will cry for me."

"I. Will. Not. Cry."

"Hey, Jasper," Peter finally spoke. "Edward? Is he your boyfriend?"

...Silence...

"Yes." Edward said in a revenge tone.

"Yeah, he dreams of my hot body. Sadly."

Peter broke into laughter.

What was so funny?

* * *

They were still here when it struck twilight.

I started breathing irregulary.

"Don't worry about him. He's just horny."

Was not.

Can't a boy dream that he was cool?

And then all of a sudden: I screamed.

"SOMEONE SAVE ME!"

And a chorus of "Jasper!"s filled the room.

Sad, wasn't it?

A boy who died deaf.

Boy, Charlotte had a loud, piercing voice. Wonder how she'd be like with Peter and her in bed.

Again, I was not horny.

* * *

Okay, did you ever try breathing when your throat was all clogged?

Good.

Now imagine that ten times worse.

And you may think you know how I felt.

I was going to slip into deeper coma. Going to stop talking.

"We'd have to freeze him."

I leaned towards Peter's side. "Any chance of them slipping a little tequila in my body, first?"

"Jasper..." the entire room mumbled.

"Jeez, can't a boy dream?"

"His breathing is getting worse."

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Dr. Soap Opera."

"Dr. Soap Opera?"

"You lied to me! After all the good time I spent with you and after I tried so hard..."

I could feel people blinking.

Silence again.

"Sorry, Edward," Peter broke the silence. "Jasper is definetely having his eye on Dr. Carlisle."

* * *

I was getting into tachycardia again.

Breathing harshly.

Alice held me as I started to breath into her chest. Yes, that was called tachycardia. I knew a big word. Ha! Take that Edward Cullen. I could've gotten a B in biology if I wanted too. She stroked my hair and stuff (what? I'm not a girl to care about these details), my body felt like it was freezing. I was in labor! (I was going to give birth...) Just in searing pain. I felt like I was numbing but at that point, the pain was increase so much that I felt like my brains were going to explode!

I was going to explode!

Carlisle would have a mess to clean, that was for sure.

"Jasper! Hang in there."

"Alice..."

"Jasper..."

_"I love you."_

And that was it. I blacked out.

And here was where my entire world ended.

(I told you, man, I did not watch a click flick!)

* * *

**The next few chapters would be of Jasper remembering what he saw in his first coma. That should be interesting, right? And don't forget, the Volturi is going to be here soon...:D I've still got ideas for this.  
**

**;) Gab**


	7. Jasper in Memory Lane Part 1

**I'm so sorry for not updating for so long. I hope I still have my reviewers. I'm so sorry. I was busy with the DP fandom and I was also busy with my uncle's wedding so yeah…sorry! Here you go. Like I said. Flashbacks.**

**Chapter 6 - Jasper in Memory Lane - Part 1**

You ever tried remembering a really really horrible dream you had just moments before?

Yeah, your memory practically sucks, right?

But you know that when you go to sleep again, you want to remember and grasp onto those long moments that you see and feel and hear all over again.

Boy, I should write a book.

_(Ladies, you gotta a sensitive guy in the house.)_

_Now, you see, I was here. And I was with Alice Cullen, my wife._

_(Yes, Edward Cullen. If you can read minds during sleep, you might as well kill me right now for thinking about your sister that way.)_

_And we sat, side by side, holding each other. Her head on my lap and her face looked up at mine. I leaned down and kissed her forehead as sweetly as I could've. "Alice, when are you going to have a vision of you doing a strip tease for me?" I cooed to her and she giggled. The tiny girl was in my arms, covered by me._

_Look at my muscles. I looked so awesome._

"_Soon, Jasper," she winked at me. Then all of a sudden—"We should plan a party!"_

"_Why?" I asked, cocking my eyebrow._

"_Well, let's see…you finally learned how to say a pick up line that isn't way too lame…is that good enough?" she asked me, giggling. And I shook my head. She jumped up from my arms because she knew that I was going to go after her. "I saw you chase me!"_

_I ran after her and she danced away from me. "You can't outrun me!"_

"_Who's running?" Alice asked, still dancing elegantly away from me._

_I laughed as we reached a dead end. I pushed Alice up the wall and kissed her mouth. "You got a vision of a strip tease yet?"_

"_Yeah, a vision of you doing it!"_

"_You just want to see my muscles, admit it."_

"_Um..." she began, looking deep in thought. "No!"_

"_I'll show you my muscles anyway. Let's get to bed and I'll make you so tired that you'll fall asleep in a sec!"_

"_We're vampires, Jazz!"_

"_Hey, I know I'm just that good!"_

"Oh great. He's thinking of touching my sister!"

"He's not talking anymore. Is that a good or bad sign?"

"He won't stay that way. I know Jazz, Dr. Cullen."

"Yeah, he won't shut up."

"Sadly…"

"And you are going to marry Jasper?"

"Me?! I'm the very person that wants to kill him!"

Silence through the room.

"Oh, so Edward, you're going to propose? When?"

"Tomorrow." The boy sarcastically said.

"What if he's still in a coma?"

"Then I'll wake him up."

"And shock him back to sleep. You know that you're too good for Jasper."

"Charlotte! You're my girlfriend!"

"I'm not flirting with him."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"PEOPLE! The boy is in a coma and the most important thing to you is to make everyone want to kill each other?"

"Well, duh!"

_Alice and I were walking down the road and she was holding that umbrella._

_The umbrella I kept seeing._

_Black umbrella._

_A sign of abandonment. _

_She put it down and looked straight in my eyes and her eyes were so sorrow and so very hurt that it hurt me too. I touched her face. (I swear it's what I'm seeing! I swear it's not in another soap opera. AND I'M NOT EVEN THAT MUSHY!)_

"_Jasper…goodbye."_

"_No! Alice, don't. I swear that I can't—no, don't—"_

"_They don't have to know." She gave me one last kiss and looked at me straight in the eye. "Well, this life was perfect."_

"_You were perfect."_

"_Again with the lame lines," she giggled. "I love you, Jasper."_

"_I love you, Alice."_

"_Don't go, Allie. I don't think I'll see you again." I said and I knew what I was saying. I knew that the words that were slipping off my tongue were those of horror and sorrow and fear. Pure fear._

_I stared down at my hands, hers were there, and she took them off instantly and walked off, my eyes were on her before I looked back at my hands, that touch—that touch might've been our last._

_I was an idiot._

_Why did I let her go?_

"Was he watching Days of Our Lives or something?"

"What do you mean?"

"He has this special sense—that makes him think that he can read people's minds."

"Does that mean that he's insane?"

"Whoa! That means that two insane people are going to get married! This will be the perfect wedding. Are you the girl, Edward or is Jasper the girl?"

"Jacob, why did we take you here?"

"Because…you want to suffocate me in your stench."

"Ah, smart answer."

"…and Jasper's the girl. Not me."

"Edward, you're gay?!"

"What? No!"

"Oh, you got that look on your face again, Mr. Hot Head. And allow me."

"Allow you what, Jacob?"

"_Jacob Black_," he tried to imitate Edward Cullen. "_Why are you such a pain in the butt? Why don't you go home_?"

"I don't sound like that! That sounds like a screeching truck!"

"That sounds exactly like you."

"EMMETT!"

"_But I still burn with desire for you, Jacob Black, for you, are God's second son and you're the better looking one."_

"Jacob! Shut it up!"

"Sorry, Jasper. Looks like Edward is taken!"

_I was running after Alice…_

_I wasn't going to lose her._

_I can't lose her._

_Never._

_(What the hell is going on?)_

**I bet you're as confused as Jasper is and you can't understand most of this but the mystery is slowly unraveling and you'll understand why everything's the way it is. Why Jasper's dreaming of Alice, why—you'll understand later on when you read why and how. This is just the beginning.**

**-Sam **


	8. Jasper in Memory Lane Part 2

**Damn it. Now that I actually planned this entire thing out****...whoa, everything's so...much. But you'll get it. It will get cleared up at the end. Hopefully.**

**Chapter 7  
Jasper in Memory Lane – Part 2**

For the first time in years, I'm doing a thing I haven't done.

I'm singing Timberland's "The Way I Are" in my head. Damn, whenever I get that song in my head, I'll never get it out.

Oh, and I'm praying to God that I'll wake up so I can punch Edward Cullen in the gut. "Hey! I heard that!" _And I wish that I can run away to the nearest drug store, take a few shots of tequila, go to a hotel, get a room and hang myself_—"Goth," I heard Edward mutter.

You forgot that I was a very hot Goth who happened to look like an angel when he's asleep.

"Some angel you are," he shot back, sarcasm dripped in his voice.

Yeah, I know. I thank God for my rock solid abs, my eyes that anyone can fall into, my luscious hair—

"That's it. Go hang yourself."

I'm not done. And I've got awesome biceps—

"I'm the one that's going to hang myself."

And—really? Can I get a video tape or something of that?

"You're in a coma."

Three things I'd wake up for. First, I'd wake up if you told me that Jeff Hardy came to visit me. Second, if you tell me that you're going to hang yourself. Third, if you told me that Jeff Hardy came to visit me.

"Wresting fan?"

Definitely. I know all the moves.

"Did you break your leg doing one of them?"

No!

…

I broke my arm doing one of them.

"They did say 'stay safe. Don't try this' a lot from what I've seen in commercials…oh I forgot, you want to die from all that alcohol you take each and every day."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was why I want to hang myself.

"Go ahead. Who's stopping you?"

Let's see. I'm in a bed, I'm in a coma and I pretty much have the entire USA crammed into this one little room with no air conditioner… but I still look good.

"Hey, Mister I Still Look Good, your fly's down."

…

_Dammit!_

_

* * *

A flash of white._

_All over the place._

_A flash of white._

_Burned up my insides._

_A flash of white._

_I thought I was going to be sick. Seriously sick._

_(I should definitely be a poet. Ladies will swoon at my talent and besides—mommy always wanted me to do something with my life anyways.)

* * *

_

"He thinks he should be a poet."

"You kidding me? Jasper, don't you remember? You barely passed English!"

"And he can't get a B in Biology."

"B in Biology? He can't get a D in Biology!"

Laughter whipped through the air. It was definite. I was going to kill Peter.

"He wants to kill you, Peter."

"I'm not worried. You can't breathe by yourself. I don't think you can go and kill me any time."

"He has magical powers. Just by one conversation, he made me want to hang myself."

That's not very nice. Big meanie!

"We're not six years old, Jasper. For you to be using 'big meanie'."

"Doesn't matter. He has an IQ of a six year old."

That's still not very nice.

"You're the one who wants to be a poet."

How about you be the poet?

"Me? A poet?"

"See, Edward? He thinks your words are romantic!"

"Oh really? Romantic?"

"Yes, he so wants to marry you but I'm afraid that he's already off the market, Jasper. We're sorry."

"He can have Emmett."

"That's sad. He's so romantic that he wants you, Jasper Whitlock, to marry his brother, Emmett Cullen, to become as close to him as possible and then, your love with Edward will be stronger as Emmett slowly and beautifully falls for your charming wits."

Weeping can be heard.

"What? Okay? This just reminded me of that one episode—"

"In Days of Our Lives, Jake?"

"Yes…I mean no!"

"Jacob, you should marry Emmett."

"But he'll crush me to pieces."

"I heard love hurts."

"Ah! Why am I in love with Emmett Cullen? He's so abusive!"

"Emmett's already married!"

"HE CHEATED ON ME! DAMN YOU, EMMETT!"

I am seriously going to hang myself. Someone wheel me to the nearest hotel room and kill me?

"I'll be glad to!"

"Glad to what?"

"He wants someone to wheel him to the nearest hotel room and kill him. He wants to die."

"Nothing matters anymore. Emmett cheated on me. Well, you know what? I don't need him. I'm better off without him!"

"You don't even know him enough to marry him."

"And you—"

"People, people, not again! Don't you see that Jasper's blood sugar has gone even more down while his blood pressure went up? You're stressing him out."

Silence.

…

"Jasper?"

What? What? What?

"Your soothing words…tequila, vodka and beer."

"Impressive. He seems to be getting better."

"Never underestimate Jasper's love for alcohol."

"He drinks that much in one day?"

"The truth is: I think he's Superman. He's still alive. Even after all those six bottles of champagne and vodka that one night…"

Champagne and vodka…that was so…I think I'm in Heaven with I'm with champagne and vodka.

"He needed it. We were going to give his dog a bath."

"What's the dog's name?"

"Smoke."

"Why smoke?"

"Because he stinks up the air when he smokes and she always inhales it."

"Smoking, alcohol, the thoughts about my sister… he still alive? Whoa, he really is Superman."

"Well, he does own a pair of Superman underwear."

"Charlotte! How do you know that?"

"I—ugh—"

"Charlotte…you got some 'splaining to do."

_I'm asleep. I'm asleep. I'm deep in a coma. And Peter won't kill me._

"I thought you wanted to hang yourself."

I wanted to be killed, yes.

Get wiped off of existence? No.

"Just explain what happened."

I drank like ten bottles of champagne. She was all alone in her nightgown and her really lacy black bra was showing—

"NOT TO ME! AH! THE IMAGES BURN!"

**Don't worry. I'll update faster. Promise. Actually, I'll try updating daily...maybe even twice a day. I won't make any promises.**

**;) Sam**


	9. Jasper in Memory Lane Part 3

**About time I update.**

**Chapter 8**

**Jasper in Memory Lane – Part 3**

Okay, you remember when I last had those dreams about me and Alice? I just don't get anything.

No, don't make fun of my grades in English and Biology.

I have superpowers so don't underestimate Jasper Whitlock, man. I can read minds, too. If I want to.

"What am I thinking of?"

What else, Edward Cullen other than killing me insides out and stuffing me inside of a grave and burying me alive?

"That's one thought."

You're imagining Bella strip down naked?

"No!"

Oh…you want to marry Jacob Black?

"No!"

You're singing "The Way I Are" by Timberland in your head, too after I got you addicted to it?

"Definitely…but no."

What then? What can you possibly be thinking of other than those few things? My grades in Biology? My Superman undoes (which look fantastic on me if I do say so myself)? My love with tequila?

…

"Jasper, your fly's still down."

Then zip it up.

"No way! They already think that I'm lusting and longing for your beautiful flesh," he sarcastically spat out.

Aw…shucks, I've never been gay before but if you slip in a little, just a little champagne inside of my IV shot thingy then I may think differently.

"Oh, I get where you're going at. You want the alcohol."

Damn you and your IQ.

"No alcohol, Jasper. You really need to be clean if you want to wake up."

Wake up? Who needs to live with two open eyes? GIVE ME THE CHAMPAGNE MAN! I'm dying on the inside…just scared…if I don't make it out alive, then do me a few things.

"What?"

Give Smoke to Peter.

"Okay…"

Marry Emmett.

"He's my brother!"

By adoption. He's not really your brother.

"And?"

And zip up my fly!

"Gross! I'd rather marry Emmett!"

Weeping can be heard again.

"I swear! That two-timing jerk! Who was I ever with him?"

"Jacob, I don't know what this idiot said that made you think that you're engaged to Emmett, but you're not!"

"I'm not?"

"No!"

"It's his fault!"

Mine? What'd I do?

"You and your stupid champagne and vodka idea."

Hey! You can kill me for all I care but no one calls my champagne and vodka idea stupid!

* * *

_There's a flash of something._

_Something white._

_Paper._

_Pages?_

_(Am I actually dreaming of studying?)_

_

* * *

_

"He's dreaming of studying!"

"Nerd!"

"Next thing you'll know it, he'll be dreaming of math numbers, just like Edward Cullen here."

"Yes—hey! I don't dream."

"And I don't bang a chick every time I have the chance."

"Excuse me?"

"Charlotte, babe! You didn't hear it that way!"

"And you excuse me of having a one night stand with Jasper!"

That was one hot one night stand. I liked the way she said my name when I did her. She was wrapping her arms around my neck, and the way she said my name so seductively—it was awesome. Man, Charlotte looked really good under all those clothes. I didn't think she'd look so hot.

Something kicked me in the stomach—what? Guilt?

Yeah, guilt.

I loved Alice. I knew that. I was completely and utterly in love with Alice, with her black hair, with her beautiful creamy golden eyes, her cold pale flesh, her body—I was in love with how she'd slip out of her nightgown just for me. I was in love with how she'd kiss me. So unique. So original. So beautiful—

"Please! Go back to describing the one night stand! Not my sister!"

Wait! Where's Alice anyways?

"We told Alice to never come near you again. You know how much you're confusing her? She was crushing on this Ben guy and he just asked her out today, you know what she said? No, I like a guy named Jasper Whitlock!"

_She—she said that?_

Hallelujah!

Details, Cullen. Details of how she'd dream about my awesome rock solid body, and how she'd wish she can touch me. Details, Cullen. I want details.

"I think I'm going to be sick!"

Man, you say that to every romance story you see? These words I'm saying are so romantic!

"To you, maybe. To me, it's as 'romantic' as Emmett marrying Jacob."

"Hey! You said I'm not engaged to him!"

"You're not. I'm just taking it as an example of how sick this really is."

"And you call me sick?"

"No! No!"

I get what you mean, Edward. Hearing you and Jacob shouting at each other like you're married—that's sick.

"Exactly—wait! Hey! That's not very nice!"

And you claim me of being a six year old.

Yes. Yes, I do.

"Why?"

"Because even in a coma, you're dying, your blood sugar's really down and we just doubled the IV and the biggest priority to you is that you know what my sister said about your rock hard body?"

Le duh!

And whoa, wait, you just called my body rock hard—

"It's to say how full of yourself you really are."

You're just jealous.

"Am not!"

Are to!

"Am not!"

Are to!

"Am not!"

"You're both acting like children."

"Carlisle, he rubs off on people. He's like a virus. And the symptoms are: need for alcohol, suicidal thoughts and increase of desire to act on your love. I find it hard to look at Bella right now without thinking of taking her to bed."

Thank you. Thank you. I did you a favor.

"Favor?"

Yeah, now you can be all charming to your girlfriend when you take her out so she'll let you bang her.

"She wants me to do it with her!"

Then what are you waiting for?

And you thought I was insane?! He got her right where he wants her and he's not doing anything about it? Idiot.

* * *

_I can't let her go._

_I just can't let her do this. I can't let her hurt herself for my safety. I'd rather die than be without her. Not even for one minute. (Yes, the player's in love and there's no stopping him!)_

_I looked around for a sign of her beautiful body but nothing. It was all black. Not a sign of her white bone pale body moving through the black shadows and I looked around, here and there and I couldn't find her._

_She was gone._

_I can't let her slip away._

_No!_

_When I found her, she was strapped towards a tree with a metal object that shocked me when I touched it. It wasn't human-proof. It was vampire-proof. It sealed her in and squeezed her and I found myself staring at her with rage. (Jasper's angry, you better run!)_

_And he stepped out. His body covered with a black cloak. "Jasper, step away or I'll destroy every bit of her!"_

_And the notebook._

_There it was in his hands._

"_You don't know what I'm capable of doing."_

_And he was writing. With a black pen. Erasable. I didn't think it was important but as he wrote in it, I felt myself being faint. "Jasper, I have to tell you that he's—"her voice washed out. I can't remember it._

_It was all so faint._

_So black._

_I think I fainted._

_

* * *

_

**Here you go.**

**I know that the last part is so drama but there's got to be drama with me. Even in a humor story.**

**- Sam**


	10. Carlisle in Overprotection Mode

**An update.**

**Chapter 9**

**Carlisle in Overprotection Mode**

That night, I woke up and boy was I happy.

You know that feeling you get when you've just seen this hot new girl in a really short skirt and her bra's sticking out? Yeah, just like that. That happy. And as I stretched in my bed and put my hands under my head, and I looked down at my clothes and suddenly, I wanted to be back into the coma.

"Why am I wearing a dress?" I asked Edward Cullen.

Boy, he looked way clearer now. With a beige button down and jeans that fitted him, his hair was still as spiky as ever and his golden eyes were sparkling like Hell. Yeah, he looked clearer. And uglier. "Hey, I heard that," Edward snapped at me. "You thought I was ugly."

Peter was standing beside him, his hair sleek and his skin darker now, wearing a red t-shirt and faded jeans, and he let out a laugh. "You hear that Eddie? He won't marry you anytime soon because he thinks you're ugly."

"I'm wearing a dress!"

They whipped their heads around me, and everyone nodded their heads. "It's a hospital gown," Carlisle explained. "Not a dress."

"Jasper's the girl," Peter concluded. "But you look freaking ugly in a dress, so let's put you into a nice pair of white tux so that you'll still be the girl, just not getting married in a dress with your hairy legs."

"What?" I snapped. "My legs are beautiful."

"They're hairy," Charlotte agreed.

"You didn't think that in our one night stand, Charlotte," and she blushed bright pink and she walked out before I said anything and Peter ran after her again, and I was left alone, sadly, with Edward and Carlisle and they were both also staring at me like I was an idiot.

"I got to find that notebook," I said, as I took off that covers. That notebook—from my dreams—they could be the damn explanation for anything. Plus, I felt like a sixty year old and I really needed to stand.

"No, you're not going anywhere." Carlisle said. "You're sick, Jasper. Your blood sugar's low and your heartbeats are getting so irregular that we're going to have to get you a machine to make your heartbeat go up."

"I have another way to make my heartbeat go up." With Alice, spiking my heart up would be easy—and Edward snarled at me once before taking his hands and pushing me down. "What? You want to do it with me? In front of your father?"

Edward jumped back at the comment.

"I won't stand up again if you let me talk to Alice," I said firmly and Carlisle reached in for a cell phone but Edward's eyes were disagreeing with all of it. Don't worry, Goldie Eyes, I'll be done soon.

"Goldie Eyes?" he asked.

I grabbed onto the phone from Carlisle and snapped it open and as if I already knew her, I dialed her number and I put the phone to my ear. "Alice?"

"Carlisle? You sound kind of off…"

"It's Jasper."

"Oh, Jasper…"

"Listen, I know this sounds kind of crazy but I've been thinking about you." When wasn't I? Edward was ready to kill me and he could if I finish with this call. With enough tequila, anyone can kill me. "Allie, babe, I love you."

"What?!" Edward's voice filled with rage.

"I know it sounds crazy but that's the truth…'

Alice was silent for a while and I knew what she was doing when she was silent, either she was having a vision or she was actually speechless by my words and I thought that the second one was more likely. (I am a charming one, aren't I, babes?)

"Jasper, I—don't know what to say to that. I don't even know you."

"I know you." I said. "I know that you have the most beautiful eyes in the world and I know that you're my psychic and I know that if I have a ring right now, I'd marry you. Alice, in another world, in another time, I was married to you. I know everything about you. I know that your favorite color's red and I know that you love shopping as annoying as it can be…"

"I'm sorry. I have to go," she snapped the phone shut and I should've expected that.

"And you claim that you're not mushy," and it hurt and he had no idea. Of course, I'm a big man and it takes a lot to break me but Alice hurt me. She really did. I really do love her and I've always loved her.

"Can't you see that Jasper's hurt?" Edward asked Peter.

Peter shook his head. "Can't see that happening. Ever."

Edward sighed and looked at me and he was reading my damn thoughts and—"don't curse," Edward said, coming close to me and putting his hand on my head. "For the first time since I met you, I think I'm actually sympathizing with you."

I almost jumped at the thought. "Now, that's the way to kill me from shock."

"Aw," Peter started. "Edward and Jasper made up. When's the wedding, you two?"

"19th of December!" I exclaimed sarcastically, rolling my eyes and I looked back at Edward to see that he looked as disgusted as hell. "You don't know what sarcasm means?"

"No," Edward replied.

"Anyways, can you freaking let me go? I need to go to your house, find Alice, find that damn notebook…"

"What notebook?" Carlisle said.

"Alice?" Edward's jaw tightened. "I still don't appreciate the words you've said to her over the phone. Even if they are true, especially the excessive shopping that is as annoying as hell…"

"No cursing, Edward," I reminded him. "You know that you won't let me curse so why should—"

"You rub off on people, virus," he interjected.

"Good enough reason."

I looked at Carlisle. "So, Doc, since you're so trapped in overprotective mode, I wonder if you'll let me go home with you so I can look for the damn notebook there. It's the only place I can think I can find it anyways. So you agree, Doc?"

Edward looked like he was going to suffocate. Oh wait; he's a vampire so sadly, that can't happen. "I hate you again."

Peter cut in, 'oh sadly, their love can't face all the obstacles! That mean the wedding's off?"

Carlisle was still looking at me as he nodded his head. "If Edward doesn't leave your side while you search, you have complete access to all areas of our home, and we'll take you in for a while, since we can't seem to find any location of your parents anyways. Though you'll need plenty of rest and lying down."

Hell yeah!

Edward was looking at me. "Carlisle…mind if I hang myself?"

**;) Sam**


	11. Alice in Horrorland? Part 1

**Another update! Yay! And the next day too. :D**

**Chapter 10**

**Alice in Horrorland? Part 1**

So that morning, I finally moved from the hospital to the Cullen household and you know what the best part is?

Yeah, no more **not** hot nurses.

Oh, and I get to be closer to Alice.

Carlisle went to work but he hooked me up to this machine so that they could find out how the hell my heart's doing and there was this body guard in front of me to make sure I don't go away. Not like I can.

He jokes about everything I do.

He joked about me being able to breathe. "You sure we don't need anything to make sure enough oxygen's in your lungs, Jasper?" and he knew my name. Man, I've never been so annoyed when I heard my name but when he said it, a fire lit up inside of me and if I wasn't hooked to a machine and if I had magical powers, I'd kick his ass.

"Oh, Emmett," Edward peered his head inside, "you know what Jasper Whitlock just thought? That he'd kick your ass if he wasn't hooked to a machine!"

Oh man.

I was done for.

"And he can't get a B in biology and he can't pass English, so talk to him in a language he'll understand."

Emmett twisted his head to look at me. "Okay," he started. "Emmett," he gestured to his body, and then he took a vase and threw it to the floor, "break," and then his hand went to me, "Jasper."

"Oh, like Emmett break Edward?"

Emmett nodded his head and he took my shoulder and he was ready to kill me. I can see that murder look in his eye but then—she walked in. There she was again. Beautiful. Completely beautiful. So real. So perfect.

Alice.

And her perfection surpassed anything else in the world and I knew that I was probably drooling on this dress (they still claimed that I was in a hospital gown. Of course, I didn't believe them) and she came towards me and she sat down next to me. If she wasn't a vampire, I knew that her cheeks would've flushed because she was close to me.

"Alice, baby," I cooed softly.

She looked at me, and her confused little eyes followed me and boy, I felt like an idiot, saying these things in my head like a geek and Emmett told Edward to leave but Edward was all 'if I left this idiot with my sister, I'd never forgive myself' so Emmett picked Edward up and walked off with him.

Alice's eyes were on my face.

"How did you know all of that about me?"

"Would you believe me if I told you that I knew you? That in some world, I controlled emotions and you were a psychic that married a fool like me?" I asked, my voice was dull and I knew it but she was so real and so beautiful that I didn't care how I sounded like.

Cliché. I know.

And man, why was I feeling this way?

It was like I was in the dark and she's my light. I feel so strong when I'm around her. Like I can do anything.

(I should really, really write a book.)

"I want to know you, Jasper but there's something that's keeping me from doing so. It's the fact that you said that you loved me. I've never heard a boy tell me that before and I don't want it—"

"I meant it," I said.

"How can you show that you meant it?"

"Alice," I took her hands and brought her face towards me and I kissed her, like I've kissed her a million times and I saw her eyes pop open and as our tongues played, I knew that there was this sense of closure in me.

I felt her take her face away and our eyes locked again and the words that slipped out of her mouth meant the rest of the world. "How can I help you?"

"I need to look for this notebook."

"Let's look for it then." She urged me and as we took our hands, clasped tight, we went to Edward's room and we couldn't find a damn thing except for boring stuff that I thought that I could find in a nerd's room.

Nerdy Edward.

Shakespeare.

Give me a break.

And when we went to the other rooms, there was nothing there and we searched up and down and she gave me a dose of high blood pressure just by kissing me and the black band pressing on my wrist, two black bands pressing on my wrist actually, one for blood sugar and one for blood pressure, were now squeezing me.

Whenever I had low blood sugar, she just disappeared, so quick and furious, and she'd come here with like anything candy coated and I'd gulp it down as fast as a vampire could gulp blood probably.

And when I reached her room, still looking for that damn notebook but not finding it, she laid me down onto her bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Edward and Emmett were out on a hunt and that made me relax knowing that the bodyguard won't crunch me to pieces anything soon.

When Alice sat down beside me on a chair, staring at me, and without Edward, I can tell that her thoughts were about our kiss. Then as if in perfect timing, Edward swung the door open.

And there he was, wide furious golden eyes, staring at her with shock and confusion, and I knew that if I closed my eyes, it'll be the death of me by the looks of this and he let those words slip off his tongue with the most fury and rage and anger a person can harbor.

"He kissed you?!"

**I like Edward in this one.**

**:P**

**Sam**


	12. Alice in Horrorland? Part 2

**It'll clear up more confusion. This chapter will explain how Jasper's in this position…sort of.**

**Chapter 11**

**Alice in Horrorland? Part 2**

Alice's innocent eyes widened and her face paled and man, I'm good at this describing stuff. And as she jumped up at the sudden rage (wait, he's not always like that to her? Lucky Alice), she looked at him with that innocence that was always on her face.

"Alice, what the hell? What did he do to you? You kissed him? Or did he kiss you?" Edward couldn't keep his questions straight.

He looked like an idiot.

"And I heard that!"

Man, if I breathe wrong, do you think he'll take it as a grudge?

I stood up, my blood pressure was high because of the sudden shock and I had my arms wrapped around Alice's waist, my head on her shoulder, and she was so frozen that she didn't say anything. "Edward, listen," I began, looking deep into his angry eyes. "I kissed her—"

That was all I needed for him to get ripped into two pieces.

He grabbed onto my hand and pushed me towards him and if he was actually violent, he'd twist my arm behind my back and break it in the process but since my blood sugar level was already down, he guessed he wouldn't let me suffer or something.

"Get the hell out."

"I would but I'm a patient." I flashed my white teeth.

"Then stay in your room, patient," he snapped.

Oh, oh, overprotective brothers, I hate those. They'll bring the death of me. And Edward—he'll actually kill me, won't he? The look in his eyes didn't make that such a crazy thought.

Emmett walked in and he looked amused. "Whoa, I forgot the popcorn." He mocked, walking towards Alice and holding onto her shoulder.

Edward made sure that I had gone to my room and if he had a key, he would've locked me in it. He was staring at me, watching me with intense eyes and man, I thought he'd break me into a million pieces.

So I was shocked when I didn't.

"Don't think that this'll happen all the time, if you try to touch my sister again, I'll rip your face off."

"Ouch," I spoke out, blinking slightly at the images that were overtaking my head. Man, that'll hurt. "Can you rip my arm of instead? I need my face. It's beautiful."

He shook his head and rolled his eyes at me as I stretched in my bed and I didn't know how, but even with his eyes watching me like Hell, I fell asleep.

What he staring at anyways?

At my sexiness?

"Gross!"

__

_Everything's so peachy keen. Nothing's wrong and nothing seems like it's going to go wrong._

_Of course, something will go wrong._

_Alice and I have the house to ourselves and we're lying down on the couch and sudden, we hear a sound out of nowhere breaking our kisses. We stand up and hear that voice again._

"_Who's there?" I ask._

_I don't know what the hell's going on as I step out of the room, Alice right beside me and look around then I'm on the floor and there's those eyes, and I try to move but this guy's so strong and so fierce, and I don't know what the hell he wants from me but as I peer towards Alice, I see that there's another guy already there, too._

_They're both vampires because I don't feel an urge or anything for their blood and all. And I'm known for getting an urge around humans._

_And this guy holding me down is so strong that I don't know how to move at all but when I look at his face, it's plastered with guilt and I don't know what they're about to do but I'm suddenly scared. (Okay, I was a little scared—okay, maybe traumatized.)_

"_Alice!" I exclaim, trying to stand up, knowing that if this guy can hold me down, a person who'd worked in the army, then man, I was going to get it bad. "ALICE!" I exclaim again and feel bile rise up in my throat, as I whip my head towards her, to see that she's kneeling towards me, holding my shoulder tightly._

_The man's still beside her. "Okay, honey, let's make a deal. Your pathetic vampire life or his," and I know it's really a choice coming from hell…_

_The umbrella scene snaps in my head…_

_The way I ran for her, had she really said that she wants to sacrifice her vampire life for mine? _

_And the notebook…_

_It's all coming into view now. I can finally put all of this together. I can—I understand this. Finally._

_(Fact: I hate mysteries.)_

__

I woke up to the sound of Alice's footsteps.

It was all dark and all quiet and man, Edward was staring at her like he was going to go in jail because if looks can kill… Edward's face turned rigid as she moved a seat close to me and put her hand on my shoulder. I smiled at her presence. I loved being around her.

I loved all of her for sure. (Man, I'm as dramatic about her as I am when I got that haircut last year. I didn't think it was possible!)

"Alice, can I tell you something?" I asked her and she nodded her head, smiling at me, before touching my face, her warm touch shot a spike of fire inside of me and boy, Edward's looking at me like I was crazy.

"And people think that I'm crazy in love with Bella," I heard him mutter.

"I think I know how I'm into this mess." I finally let it fall out of my mouth. "Remember about that life I was telling you about? About me being married to you? I was a vampire like you, Alice. A boy who controlled emotions and I think I can understand why I'm here—well, sorta—"

She was interested. I can tell it from her eyes.

"You see, there was this one day, that everyone was gone, Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, Bella, Esme, and Carlisle, all gone for some trip thing and we had the house to ourselves and these two guys showed up. They were vampires, too, really strong ones. In that world, I was trained in the army and I was a fighter but when that bulky guy held me down, I stayed that way…down."

Edward was listening too and even though he despised listening to me, he was sorta interested.

"And the other one he came to you and told you that you had to choose. Your life as a vampire gone or mine. And I could remember, you standing with an umbrella, looking at me, you were slipping away from me and I knew it. It was goodbye and I couldn't let you do it. I couldn't let you give yourself to those idiots. I followed you. I know it was stupid but I followed you.

"After I reached you, in a forest, with that man only now. That man that told you to choose. He was in a black cloak. He said that he doesn't know what he's capable of doing and Alice, you started saying something but everything just blacked out on me…and then I woke up here."

I looked at the doorway to realize that Carlisle had been listening then my eyes went back to Alice and I touched her face, my warmer hand on her cold skin and it felt good. "Alice, I don't know why I'm here or anything anymore. But I know that beyond everything, I love you. I know that every time I breathe near you, I think it'll last forever. I know that this crazy thing is somehow linked to that notebook. I know it. I just do. And I try to tell myself that it's nothing but it's everything. I know that once I even tried to convince myself that Bella was worthy of you. No one is and I know that."

(Ladies, can you imagine a man more perfect than me? I surpassed myself with those words.)

**;) Sam**


	13. Alice in Horrorland? Part 3

**An update. Finally.**

**Short chapter. I know. Still an update!**

**Chapter 12**

**Alice in Horrorland? Part 3**

That morning, as I woke up, Alice brought me breakfast.

"I—um—cooked this for you." She said and I looked down. My stomach sloshed with uneasiness. What the hell was this? I said 'thank you' anyways and began eating and realized that whatever it was too salty and I finished the water fast. Whoa, I didn't think anyone can get me to drink water again.

Carlisle walked and Edward and Emmett were right after him, and guess who else? Pouncing around Jacob Black was right behind them too and whenever Emmett grinned, Jacob's smile faded.

"What's that?" Jacob asked. "Did you vomit or something?" he said to my food on the tray.

"No, Alice tried to cook for me," I explained. "Thanks. It's nice."

"You cooked for him?!" Edward exclaimed as if I had just said that she slept with me and she slowly nodded her head. Emmett rolled his eyes and looked down at the plate again.

"Oh, I suddenly lost my appetite." Emmett said.

"Like you lost your love for me!" Jacob exclaimed which made Emmett jump. "How could you do this? Marry a monster!"

"I didn't marry Jasper," Emmett responded.

"Hey, I'm a sexy boy, not a monster!" I interjected in their conversation. "People bow down to the awesomeness of my abs."

"I meant Rosalie!" Jacob exclaimed.

"Yeah, he got a point there, monster," Edward agreed.

"And now, you're agreeing with him?!" Emmett shouted at Edward and he nodded his head. "Backstabber!" Emmett didn't know what the hell was going on but he was playing along because it was fun.

Carlisle sighed. "Jasper, I have important news to tell you."

Jacob's eyes twinkled as he gritted his teeth. "Why is he a backstabber? For supporting me?"

"Yes!" Emmett exclaimed. "He's my brother. He should agree with me."

I sighed and looked at Alice who was enjoying this. I grabbed onto her hand and brought her close to my mouth as I gave her a quick kiss on hers.

"Oh My God! Who cares about you both?" Edward exclaimed, staring straight at me and Alice. "Jasper just kissed Alice and I heard she liked it! Oh My God! Now they're going to run away and get married!"

We weren't that serious yet.

What was his problem?

"Hey, Eddie, I know I've got awesome abs and a rock solid body to die for but I am not in a rush to get married," I said.

Alice stood up and looked at me slightly angrily. "Okay, so if I want to run away with you and get married, would you?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Let's get married."

"But we're rushing." She objected.

"Who's all objecting getting married to me right now?" Edward clutched his fists and looked at me in rage. "I guess that two people have an objection. Eddie, if I put you as my best man, what would you say?"

"Peter will kill you," he got a point there.

"People!" Carlisle exclaimed to get our attention. "Jasper, I have to tell you that if you sleep excessively like this, you may risk going into a coma and we don't want you going into another one, do we?"

Silence fluttered through the room.

"Edward…what are you doing with those slipping pills?"

**Yeah, short chapter but still an update.**

**:) Sam**


	14. Jacob in Adventure Mode

**Another update. Whoa.**

**Chapter 13**

**Jacob in Adventure Mode**

At the morning when I had woken up from a six hour sleep (Carlisle know made me measure the time and I wasn't supposed to sleep for more than eight hours), everyone was out for a hunt so guess who I spent time with?

Ding ding.

It was Jacob Black.

And we have a winner.

For once, I can go through a day without someone probing my thoughts. I can think! I can breathe! I can cherish me and Alice's memories without getting yelled out or threatened to be killed.

Jacob was annoying though.

Very, very annoying.

He wanted to help me find my notebook which I didn't know where the hell it was or could be and he figured out if he knew my past, he could help me. Whoa, this was turning into a CSI episode. Except there was no hot Sarah and no blood yet (I was sure Edward would like to change that).

"Where were you on the night of July 23 2007, at 12:00?"

Okay, since it was 12, and 2007… "Okay, I was at this really hot chick's house because it was her birthday and I just got my muscles toned and defined and then we—"

"No! No!" Jacob exclaimed. "Please, it burns my brain!"

Oh, another re-run of the Edward thing. It was only because he was jealous he couldn't have chicks like me. "And where were you on the night of the murder of Davy Jones?"

I laughed. "That's from like a movie, right?"

"Not the point!"

"Talk to me." Jacob sat down, acting more serious, now, flattening the hat that he 'burrowed' from Edward's room to look all adventure-like as he fixed a smile towards me. "Okay, so you get chicks, you drink alcohol, what else?"

"I smoke." I reminded him.

"And you're not dead." He repeated. "Okay, Superman, tell me—what do you do when you get chicks? How do you get them? Are you going to do it again once you're out of here?"

I liked sharing my expertise. "When I get them, I sleep with them and leave. I get them usually by charming them and showing off my amazing abs and muscles, and they'll come right to me and—I'm not going to do that again."

"Huh? Why?" he asked, rubbing the back of his head.

"Because I'm in love with a vampire girl named Alice Cullen and I will not let her go no matter what," I spat out and Jacob's eyes widened with surprise and shock and I knew why. I mean, this dude you always see, he was always with a different girl, always running away from commitment, but now, I wasn't running away from this girl. I wanted to be committed to her. I wanted to marry her one day and live in these strange memories in the back of my head, vampire love.

"Man, that's cheesy."

"Yeah, but what can you do when a girl's personality poisons you? Plus, she really does look hot," I grinned. "Anymore of your detective questions?"

"Ooh, ooh, yeah!" he exclaimed, remembering something and his excited voice made him speak quickly. "When did you start on alcohol? Why did you start on it? And what was your first drink?"

I rolled my eyes. This was Let's Annoy Jasper Hour and I knew it. I sighed before I replied to him. "I started on alcohol when I was fifteen. I started on it because my parents were jerks but hey, I was one too and my first drink was beer."

"I didn't you'd answer that," he blinked. And a grin spread across his face. "I got a good one—how was it like your first time?"

"I was fifteen when I spent with her. She was hot and she was getting all over a break up and the only reason she slept with me was for closure. I wanted closure. I started sleeping with others so I could find it. Realized I was running away from a real relationship because I didn't want a girl to break my heart but with Alice," he knocked his head on the bed because out of everything, he didn't like me talking about Alice. "I don't know. It's like I don't care if she stabs my heart or if she keeps it safe."

"You used to be a nerd?" Jacob asked.

"No!"

"Then stop with all this love talk. It's driving me crazy." Jacob said. "Especially when I can't get a girl to save my name."

I laughed because I could see why. First of all, a girl wanted a boy who'd brush his hair.

He stood up, ready to walk away but stopped. "Hey, you think that you left that notebook somewhere in the forest right? Let's search there then."

Oh no.

Why'd I say yes?

A few hours later, it was the afternoon and I found myself looking around in the forest. I thought he'd notice that I was a patient. And I had two bands glued to my wrist and he was eating all my food. I grabbed onto a KitKat bar and bit through it. "Hey, why'd you eat all this junk anyways?"

"Low blood sugar," I snapped at him.

"That your excuse for bulimia?" he asked me. "And what type of guy gets an eating disorder like that?"

"Oh, shut up," I told him. "You noticed that I got low blood sugar and my pulse isn't steady and I'm out of bed and I'm already breathless even though we didn't walk yet?" It was true. We were sitting down and munching before our 'adventure'.

"Oh, so?" he asked.

"If I die out here, I'm going to sure put 'murder Jacob Black' in my will. I'm not even twenty yet for you to kill me!" I exclaimed. "I'm still seventeen."

"How? How did you get seventeen with all those drugs you take? I mean, I don't even know you and once, more than ten bottles of painkillers fell out of your bag. Why so addicted to pain killers?"

"Just am," I shrugged.

"And you repel breathing."

"I'm only breathless because I'm a patient. I'm sick."

"No excuses."

I only rolled my eyes as I grabbed onto our bag and told him that I was going to walk around because I felt like I gained more than fifteen pounds just sitting down. Eating another KitKat bar, I paced around the forest. There was this crazy waterfall and there was water—

I stopped.

I was terrified of water. I was terrified of drowning.

Oh great. Now, I was going to run around like a little girl. I turned to go back but Jacob was right behind me now. Great. Just great. "Hey, this is a great place for a picnic."

"Picnic? You ate all my food!"

"I'm a werewolf. Blame my nature." He sat down and took another bite out of his—no, my—chocolate bar. "Why is this almost all packed with chocolate?"

"Because I've got an addiction to chocolate."

"What do you not have an addiction to?"

"Um," I thought of. Painkillers. Alcohol. Chicks. Oh, chocolate was supposed to be first. I loved it. "Your adventures."

"What? That is so addicting! Just wait until we find your notebook, you'd be kissing my feet!" Jacob exclaimed.

"Werewolf hairy feet," I repeated and shook my head, cringing in disgust. "Disgusting."

"Hey, Jazz, you want to know something?" he asked me, using my nickname. "Edward's behind you!"

The way he said made me jump and I jumped into the water. I couldn't swim. It was not funny. Water was coughing up on my throat. Jacob came towards me, laughing. "Hey, just get out of there!" he exclaimed. "Don't act like you're drowning."

"I—"water being spat out, acid in my throat, "can't—swim!" I exclaimed, getting in and out of the water.

"You're joking!"

"Do—I—look like I'm," taking a huge breath of air, "joking?!"

He jumped into the deep water and grabbed onto my waist, pulling me upwards. His hand the grass and he looked up, "hey, Edward."

I spat out water, breathing in and out, remembering my almost drowning experience. "That's not going to work on me." I told him.

"JACOB, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? YOU COULD'VE KILLED YOURSELVES!"

Please God, tell me I'm hallucinating.

Nope. He was the real thing. Suddenly, I wanted Jacob Black to drown me again. His voice was as angry as Hell. He should definitely be the new devil.

He'll make everyone suicidal.

**This chapter was good. I think.**

**Review? **

**;) Sam**


	15. Edward in ‘Evil Hip Hop Music’ Mode

**100 reviews? I love you, guys!**

**Whoa. Now I need a new goal. Thanks so much.**

**Chapter 14**

**Edward in 'Evil Hip Hop Music' Mode**

It was around seven at night when we got home.

I was drenched in water and Jacob was also as drenched as I was. I was freezing which was why Alice got me a blanket and sat beside me to make me feel warmer. Bella sat Jacob down, holding him nicely. Emmett and Rosalie were just here to see Edward screaming.

They were definitely demons or something. No one wanted to see him angry. It was like Hell on Earth.

"You took him out?" Edward stared all murder-like at Jacob.

They forgot to bring a video tape or something. I should show this to Peter and Charlotte. It would make an awesome horror movie.

"Yup. Jasper was getting all alone, cooped up in his room—"

"He has a TV!"

"What? He can barely change the channel. When I walked in, he was walking CNN."

"Yeah, that was definitely the case. Since Jasper will never watch CNN out of everything. He'd care more about watching some girl dance around in a video."

I interjected in the conversation because no one made a fool out of Jasper Whitlock other than Jasper Whitlock. "It was my favorite video. I liked the song."

"What was the song? Baby Got Back or something with hip-hop and all?"

"Oops," my face got red hot. "Yeah, in my defense, schools poison the innocent mind of a child."

"Wait! You were innocent?" Edward asked.

"Well, I was a baby."

"I just presumed you drank alcohol in a bottle," I rolled my eyes. Of course he presumed that. "I can't imagine you drinking milk but I can totally imagine a child-version of you hitting on other innocent girl babies."

"That would make a ghetto TV show."

"And he'll be watching his baby abs instead of CNN?" Emmett asked, cutting in the conversation.

"Of course," I replied.

Edward looked confused. "What's ghetto?"

"From which century did you take him from again? The century of Shakespeare!" I exclaimed.

"Hey, it's better than you. At least I know true poetry, not like your evil hip hop music!" Edward exclaimed. "Seriously—I like big butts and I cannot lie?" he asked of me.

"Really, Edward?" Bella was seductive with her eyes.

"Hey, if you don't want Edward, you can have me," I joked but Alice struck an angry look. "No, Alice, I was joking around! Honest!"

Alice calmed down but she still had that pouncing look in her eyes. I relaxed but man; Edward just had to say something to break the silence. He just didn't like silences. If he didn't like silences, he should put Bella in bed, she looked like a screamer.

I was alive. I couldn't believe it.

The only thing scarier than Edward was Alice getting angry. Can I hear you agreeing with me, guys? Any one of you dudes out there with a girlfriend? You do not want to get her angry!

It was like unleashing Hell on Earth.

"Where was I?" Edward asked us. "Oh yeah, I was angry at Jacob and Jasper."

"Why me? I was a victim!"

"Why not? You have those dirty thoughts about my sister, you annoyed me to Hell, you made me want to do it with Bella and Bella, no, no, I can resist." Edward took a deep breath. "And lastly, you like evil hip hop music!"

"Yup. I'm guilty."

He turned to Jacob and had this look of 'I'm going to kill you right now'. I didn't think he had a look besides that anyway. "And you—why was Jasper drowning? Did you push him in the water or something?"

"No, he can't swim."

"Impossible!"

"He can't swim!"

Edward's face turned to me. "You can't swim?" he was almost going to laugh his heart out and I nodded my head sorrowfully. He laughed.

"Not funny!"

His laughter got worse.

"Not funny!"

Soon, the entire room was laughing at me and I blushed. "Ooh, Jasper, I like it when you blush," Alice said, touching my face.

Edward stopped laughing and looked at us seriously.

"GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

"Yes, mother."

Alice helped me up so we can walk towards my room and as we scurried off into the hallway, I heard Edward scream.

"AND NO EVIL HIP HOP MUSIC! IT CAN WAKE UP THE DEAD!"

"You're always awake!"

**I love this.**

**;) Sam**


	16. Bella in ‘I’ll Kill Them’ Mode

**The return of evil hip hop music...:D**

**Chapter 15**

**Bella in 'I'll Kill Them' Mode**

Before Alice and I went to sleep, Bella walked inside. It seemed that Edward was making her deaf. Edward made everyone deaf. I bet he made the guys from outer space lose their hearing. He was the reason aliens didn't come in this planet—they were scared to face the big voice.

Alice helped me to her bed and made me sit down. Hooking me to a million wires, I was looking at Bella. She looked innocent. Nice. "What happened between you and Jacob?" she asked nicely, sitting down and in her lap, there was a tray of food. I reached in and she let me take a fluffy biscuit.

I took a bite. "Okay, listen, he asked me stuff about my past in this detective CSI manner."

She digested the information. "Sounds like Jake."

"He was wearing Edward's hat." I told her.

She looked like he was dreaming about him just at the sound of his voice. I thought I was going to be sick. Seriously sick. "I bet Edward looks better with it on him," okay, I needed a garbage can or something.

This chick was crazy.

"Yeah, like a monkey looks good in a tux," I responded, still groggy from the day but nausea burned through me. The thought of him and her together made me sick. Man, someone needed to break them up. I'd do it but I don't hate myself. I wanted to live.

"And?" she asked me to know what else happened.

"He ate my Galaxy bar," I pouted. No one took my chocolate away from me. He could kill me for all I care but no one took my chocolate away from me. That was pure evil.

"That's it?" she asked me, confused.

"Hey, hey, it was crispy and yummy."

Bella sighed. "Boys." She rolled her eyes and Alice nodded with her as I reached for another biscuit.

"Oh and he made me jump into the water, I couldn't swim and I almost got killed but that's not the point." I said. "The point is he ate my chocolate without my permission."

"He WHAT?!"

Oh, was it that serious?

"I'll kill him!"

Oh, maybe it was.

"How could he not know that you'd drown? Wasn't it obvious you were a patient?"

Oh, it definitely was.

"JAKE! GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE!"

Jacob walked inside with Edward right beside him as Carlisle walked towards me, putting a tray of chocolate on my lap. Now, that was more like it. I took bites, fast eating.

Jacob blinked. "Okay, I've been yelled at more than three times today!"

"Oh really?" Bella asked in a dangerous mode.

"Yup. Once from Jasper for eating his chocolate, second from Edward for almost letting him drown even though he should be thanking me because he hates him so much, and third for my dad because I'm supposed to bring milk home and I forgot!" he exclaimed.

Then he looked all smart and concentrated like.

"Can you use better words to describe what's going on?" Edward asked.

I shook my head. "Barely passed English, remember?" oh great. He made me hate myself too. No! He'll make me hate my abs, too. I took a bite out of chocolate and I was sure I looked like I was going to cry my eyes out. No one made me hate my abs! That was too cruel of a punishment.

"Hey!" Jacob had realization struck him. "Why were you angry that I took Jasper out? I thought you wanted him dead."

Edward smirked. "I want to kill him. I want to see him suffer so much." He said and boy, he looked evil.

I ate faster.

"Eat anymore of that and you will get fat."

"Shut up," I snapped at him. "And get out."

"Or?" Edward asked.

I grabbed onto the radio beside me and opened up the song 'The Way I Are' and Edward ran off.

"THE EVIL HIP HOP MUSIC WILL KILL US ALL!"

Jacob looked at me. "Ooh, I love this song!"

He started dancing around and looking like a monkey which made Bella laugh her head off.

"Man, I don't know what's worse. Seeing Jacob dance his ass off or having Edward scream."

**Review? **

**;) Sam**


	17. Jasper in Memory Lane Part 4

**And finally...an update. Hey, at least I updated! :D**

**Chapter 16**

**Jasper in Memory Lane – Part 4**

I fell asleep somewhere around nine thirty.

That was the earliest I've ever slept in. Even as a child, I had always slept at ten or something. Never nine thirty. Either I was aging or I was seriously losing my head. I didn't know which one fitted my story but oh well.

It was around ten o'clock when I woke up and I was screaming and I tried to piece together what happened in my head from the nightmare.

Alice was next to me and I was breathing on her face and she liked it. She liked feeling my breath on her face because it was real. "I saw things," I told her. "I saw horrible things."

"Did Edward kill you?" she asked.

"Not that horrible," I laughed and gave her a kiss, squeezing her body, and bringing her close to me. Usually, I'd have one night stand with the girl in the same night I see her, charm her into it but with Alice, I didn't want to rush anything. I wanted to wait.

Yeah, I was crazy.

But I was crazy in love.

Whoa, that was cliché.

Still ladies, you like clichés, right? How about you and me—oh, that's right. Being all committed meant that I couldn't flirt or see other girls. This was hard but Alice was worth it.

All the time.

Her eyes. Her hair. Her heart. Her flesh. All perfect.

Why would I want any other girl? They were all ugly in my opinion now that she was beside me. (If Charlotte had mind reading powers, she'd totally pound me to the pavement. And man, you do not want to see her angry. It will unleash Hell.)

"What did you see?" she asked me.

"I saw—a ton of vampires. I think it was during a fight with Bella. About Victoria I think." She sat down beside me, eyes wide. "What?"

"How do you know about Victoria?"

"I know that nothing really makes sense anymore and I just seem to know people but I think that when that cloaked man did what he did with the book, that vampire, I think he either switched your vision powers with mine or gave me them too. I don't know. It's just so confusing. I hope it clears up in the end." I said, explaining myself to her.

"You show me a side you don't usually show people." She replied, smiling. God, you should've seen how her eyes twinkled. She was gorgeous. I didn't deserve her. And I never said that to anyone. Usually, they didn't deserve me and my rock solid abs and I was all sex and drugs and parties.

She made life worth living.

She showed me things I didn't know existed.

Like water.

(Yeah, I didn't drink a lot of that anyways.)

And eggs.

(Did you know that they were those healthy things that I used to pick out of my plate?)

And no alcohol for a month.

(Yeah, that was greatest challenge of them all).

Oh, and how could I forget, love.

(Didn't think I could love after I slept with two girls in the same night.)

I was complete when I was around here. I think that I was a vampire with the alcohol and drugs but now, that I was clean for a long while and I think a vampire made me feel human for once.

I woke up around eleven again. Screaming.

"What's wrong, Jazz?" she asked me, wrapping her arms around my shoulder, trying to comfort me from my night terror as I smiled and kissed her mindlessly, my hands running up and down her spine. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just fine, sort of," I said. "Had another night terror but this time, I can't remember what it's about it. I'm scared that you're away from me."

It can't be too late. I had to find that notebook.

I had to know what was wrong.

I had to find out why it was linked.

"I'm right here," Alice said as she squeezed my shoulders and I pushed all the thoughts of sleep as we got entangled in a web of kisses and soon, she had unbuttoned my shirt.

"Like?" I asked.

She nodded her head, looking straight at my clothing and her mouth was gaped open. "Love," she responded, running her fingers through my defined abs. I knew I could never hate my looks.

I looked too good to be hated.

We were kissing, rolling around and I fell onto the floor and didn't care. Even with our clothes still on, feeling her rub against me, hold me, touch me, it was like electric magic.

That was until Edward Cullen walked inside.

"ALICE! JASPER! What are you doing?!"

Oh great.

It was like daddy walking in on you and your sister doing it or something.

Yeah, you got my point.

I was dead meat.

**Review?**

**;) Sam**


	18. Jasper in Memory Lane Part 5

**I'm a fast updater. Thank God. I'm neglecting all my other fics though. *Runs off* I will update just give me some time.**

**Chapter 17**

**Jasper in Memory Lane? Part 5**

I was so dead.

I was so very dead.

(How could he have anyone like him with all that rage that was burning into his eyes right now? He was so ready to kill me.)

"Alice! What are you doing with him? You're not married to him. You don't even know him well enough to touch him in that way."

She stood up, fixing her untouched clothing and I buttoned my shirt, having her eyes on me, sweet and beautiful eyes. We were like two children getting caught sneaking in candy after supper.

It was nerve-wrecking but fun.

It was forbidden and fun.

It made love unlimited, having a girl who was willing to break the rules to be with me. It was like daddy caught the older boy with the young girl. It was exciting.

(Yeah, CSI and Prison Break exciting!)

"What do you two think you're doing?!" Edward exclaimed. Man, I didn't know how he couldn't explode from all that anger. You can fill him and fill him with anger and he just wouldn't explain.

Like Peter.

You can fill him and fill him with burgers but he'll never be full.

Like Charlotte.

You can buy her and buy her a million shoes but she'll always want another pair.

"You were having sex with my sister and now, you're thinking about shoes?!" Edward exclaimed.

"No, I was—"I hated that my mind always drifted to stop things but that happened to you, too, once, twice? No?

"Ooh," Alice said, swooning. "A man with a sense of fashion. Really my type."

"Well, I don't like to brag but my Hot Topic pants so rock."

"HELLO!?" Edward exclaimed. "You two were just caught by me, kissing and on the floor, sleeping with each other and you're talking about Hot Topic pants?"

"No."

He sighed in relief.

"I'm talking about Hot Topic pants that show off my butt and make it rounder."

He screamed as if I was pierced him in agony.

"You're all hopeless!"

I sighed. "Edward's just jealous because he can't sleep with Bella." I explained, holding Alice's waist and kissing her neck in front of him. Why should I care? I loved her, didn't I?

"Didn't it ever cross your mind that I may just be protective of my sister? Wanting the best for her? Not some punk boy who drinks his way and wastes his life to music and sleeping with other girls?"

"Uh…" I started. "That can happen?"

"You mean feeling protective?" he asked me.

"Yup," I nodded my head. I'd never seen a guy like this. I'd slept with thousands of girls, and of course, sometimes, the brother was protective but soon, he learned how to cope with me being around.

But Edward—if I breathed wrong, all Hell broke loose.

"It happens all the time. What world do you live in?" Edward asked.

"Like you said, world of punk," I traced my fingers down her throat and Edward gaped and glared at me, ready to pounce on me any second as Jacob and Bella entered the room.

"What's going on?" Jacob asked.

"Alice and this punk might've slept with each other!" Edward exclaimed. "They were going to sleep with each other. I can sense it."

"Hey, I thought you read minds, not sensed emotions." No, in another world, I did. Another world…was it possible? My mind was so dazed that I couldn't think straight.

Edward's mouth gaped open.

"What?"

"I heard the word 'think' in your thoughts."

"So?"

"You think?"

That was a good question. I usually didn't ponder or think about things. It was either yes or no. I didn't spend two hours wondering about stuff. That was just crazy.

"Edward," Bella started, taking his hand. "Come on, Alice, let's go."

"But what if Jasper has another night terror?"

"Then I'll be around. I can comfort him." Edward said, rolling his eyes, just wanting Alice to get away from me.

"Depends," I started. "Do you have a knife in your pocket?" I joked.

"Damn!"

**Hope it was funny enough and I just want to say stuff so yeah...**

**;) Sam**


	19. Peter in ‘In the Mood for a Drink’ Mode

**THEY are coming in...yay!**

**Chapter 18**

**Peter in 'I'm In the Mood for a Drink' Mode**

That night, as I fell asleep, even with his eyes watching me (I finally let him to let go of the knife), I woke up about ten minutes later, screaming my lungs out and Edward brought his hands to his ear.

"And you say that my voice makes people deaf!"

I took a swift breath. "They're coming."

"Who?"

"The Volturi. They're going to kill me. Make me into mush. I can feel it. I can _feel_ it!" I didn't see any of it. I can't be too sure you say but man, it was a feeling that made me want to fly. I knew it was going to happen without even seeing it.

I stood up and he walked behind me.

I stopped. "Edward, take the wires out, please." He helped me strip out of the wires (he made fun of the word 'strip' and claimed me to be gay, the usual) and as we hurried off towards the Cullen household, it was morning.

Esme was cooking for me. "Hey, Jasper, I had made you some food."

"Not now, Esme," Edward started. "Jasper said that—"

"Hey, wait, what'd you make?" I asked, suddenly peering to the dish and wanting to look.

"An omelet and some vegetables."

Vegetables.

Another thing they taught me.

You know that food can grow from the ground?

Edward sighed. "Jasper said that he felt like the Volturi was coming." I already had the plate and sat down, ready to eat.

"Is that it then?" Carlisle asked. "Well, that's quite a shock. Since he can sense it. Do you think he has a power?"

"Well, in my 'dreams' before I woke up here, I knew that I could control and feel the emotions around me, that help?" Carlisle nodded his head and sat beside me, interested in my abilities and stuff.

"Your abilities? Like what? Using the word 'strip' too much?"

"Oh please," I told Edward. "I only used it once. I think. And I just woke up. I didn't eat anything. I was probably as annoying as Rosalie is. And I want food." I ate a spoonful.

Alice walked downstairs. Edward looked all murder. Alice smacked him at the back of his head playfully before she sat down. "Carlisle," he whined. "Alice is angry at me because I walked in on her and Jasper being all intimate."

I looked at Carlisle, and nodded my head. "We were getting intimate but she just took off my shirt, what do you want me to expect? I laughed and joked. But you should be able to read my mind too. You'd see that I'm crazy in love with her. I know her better than anyone does."

"Oh yeah?" Edward asked. "What are the clothes that she wants to wear right now?"

"What's today?" I asked.

"Tuesday."

"Oh," I said and thought for moment. "Gucci shoes, this really ghetto black dress, with white cotton tights and for measures, a lacy Victoria's Secret, red with matching underwear."

Edward stared at me. "Can you read minds too?"

"No, I'm human." I reminded him. "But I know this girl better than anyone and I want to prove that."

Alice was looking at me, blushing, her eyes twinkling and she was happy. She was perfect. And she knew that every word I said was as real as real could be.

"Okay," Edward started. "What is she thinking of right now?"

I shot a look at her, seeing her eyes, knowing their innocence, almost as ifs he was telling me her thoughts, her eyes showed every emotion in the book and I knew that love and affection was the best. "She's thinking that she doesn't deserve me. But she's wrong. I don't deserve her."

She blinked. Her eyes still twinkling with that innocence and just from the look on her eyes, I knew what she was thinking. "That if she could cry, she would've drowned us right now."

I smiled, holding her hand and kissing her cheek.

"Ew," Edward said, disgusting. His face was pulling all the disgust in the world as she smiled, giggling softly at Edward's words.

After a moment, Peter came in and Charlotte was right behind him. When Alice had seen her clothes, I knew what she was thinking right away. I knew her taste. Charlotte was wearing black skinny jeans and a white lacy top, and she had a studded belt and her sneakers were white.

"Alice is thinking that patent flats will look so much better with that top," I said and she nodded her head, taking Charlotte out of the kitchen and into her room. Man, Charlotte was going to burn in Hell.

You should never go with Alice. She was too much of a fashion freak.

"So word around the block is that you couldn't sleep last night," Peter blinked. "Did Edward threaten to kill you?"

"Yes, but that didn't scare the hell out of me. They are coming. I know it." I said.

"They?" Peter repeated. "What? The high school football team is still making fun of you for hanging out with me?"

"No!"

"Oh…your cousins?" Peter's face widened with horror. "Oh no. I'm not staying with Diana again!"

"No!"

"They? Oh, I know. Those angry bulky guys from the bar before you passed out?"

"No!"

"Oh…then who?!"

"They are coming. I just know it." I said, sighing and Peter sighed as well. "Know how to stop my night terrors?"

"Speaking of the bar, there was this new type of alcohol you tried there. You were really out of it. You think you'd remember more if I say—talk you to the bar and make you drink it? I don't remember what it was but I remember what happened afterwards."

Peter's way of saying 'let's ditch Charlotte. I don't want to make out. She just ate garlic bread'.

I nodded my head.

"Okay," Edward began. "You're taking a patient with low blood sugar and high blood pressure to a bar because you think that he'll remember more if he drank more and it may kill him and Peter just wants to ditch Charlotte and uses this as an excuse?" he asked.

"Pretty much."

"If Jasper dies, I'm so in."

**Oh boy.**

**Twisted.**

**;) Sam**


	20. Charlotte in ‘Boys Will Be Boys’ Mode

**Well, the story will unfold...eventually. :)**

**Chapter 19**

**Charlotte in 'Boys Will Be Boys' Mode**

Alice changed me.

I was not going to drink a bottle of alcohol because she changed me and she showed me new things like water and not sleeping with a girl I just met and most of all, surviving without alcohol.

And I was not going to break just because they took me to a bar—

_OH MY GOD, IS THAT TONIC?_

I was not going to break—

_SERIOUSLY, TONIC AND GIN AND I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT?_

As I was saying…

_What are you waiting for?! There's tonic and gin and—_

I will not result into complete destruction of my… ooh, cranberry juice and tonic and gin…and vodka and they've got everything here.

_So what are you waiting for, idiot?!_

__

"Well," Edward started, flopping down by Alice and Carlisle on their side of the table and Charlotte and Peter were on the other side of the table. "Emmett, Jacob, Rosalie and Bella will arrive soon and for once, I think that Jasper's arguing with himself about not drinking. For this, I applaud—where's Jasper?"

"Behind you," Alice responded. "And I think he's drowning in alcohol."

Edward looked at me as I sat back down on my seat, and I 'drowned' myself into alcohol while Peter joined me. Our first round was of course, tonic and gin, with a hint of cranberry.

Peter explained, "You used to drink this a lot so this might be the one you drank before all this coma sleep stuff."

I drank.

No memories entered my head.

Edward sighed, "Is there anything that enters your head?"

Uhhh….

Air?

"That would be the only one thing that enters your head. And I'm not sure if it does," Edward responded, twirling his fingers around my third cup as I snatched it from him and took a swig.

"More!" I exclaimed.

"If you die here," Edward said. "I'm burning the body."

I looked at him, shaking my head then letting the alcoholic beverage, the sweet tonic, run through my throat and after about what felt like ten minutes but was actually double that, Edward spoke.

"He's going to explode," Edward said, standing up and I put down the glass.

"It's definitely not tonic."

"I think we figured that out by the tenth cup."

"Hey, I was just making sure," I replied as Peter got us glasses of cranberry vodka and put it down.

"Another drink that Jasper's in love with." Peter said, sitting down next to me and Edward sighed.

"I knew he wasn't in love with Alice," he suddenly said.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, taking a sip of cranberry vodka then I lifted it up into the air. "I love this! I know this. I live with this."

"He always lives with crazy stuff?" Edward asked.

Charlotte nodded her head, gripping her hand onto Peter's shoulder as he gulped down the cup of alcohol. She laughed. "They also live with Superman boxers, Desperate Housewives, and they don't move from the couch…"

"Superman boxers?" Edward repeated.

"Desperate Housewives?" Alice repeated.

"…and they once wore my shoes once…it doesn't fit them…"

"And shut up," I said as I drank the cup of vodka and let swirls over wash my messed up head and I looked at Alice as I brought my arms out and she walked away from the table, getting into my arms and we were silenced when we started kissing at each other.

"HEY!" Edward exclaimed. "No! No! No!"

We were kissing so hard that we didn't care about what he was saying as I ran my hand down her back and I bit her earlobe when we were done.

Carlisle blinked. "And I didn't believe Edward when he said that this was horrifying."

"They should make a horror movie out of this for sure," Edward added on and the two both nodded their heads.

Jacob and Emmett and Bella had walked towards us and sitting down now that there was more space since Alice was on my lap, they stared at us as we kissed again, hard and harsh.

Emmett blinked. "You think that they notice that we're alive?"

Edward was getting angry (really, when wasn't he?) and as I twirled one of her hairs between my fingers and kissed her ear, having her hold onto my shoulders tight, Edward cleared his throat. "You know how disgusting this romance is?"

"Enough to be the new Resident Evil," Jacob added on.

"I think it's kind of sweet," Bella said, smiling at Alice and Alice had smiled back when I squeezed onto her. "It's cute for sure."

Edward stared at her in disbelief.

"What?" Bella asked.

Edward simply shook his head. "…you're one of them."

"What are them?"

"Ooh, ooh, I know!" Jacob interjected into Bella and Edward's conversation. "Them are…ooh, the ninja turtles!"

Edward sighed. "Kill Jasper. Just kill Jasper now."

"Isn't the phrase 'kill me. Just kill me now?'" I asked him and he shook his head. "Oh, yeah, I forget that you hate my guts."

"Don't I make it obvious?" Edward asked.

"Uhhh…"

Edward shot a glare at me for my annoying childish stuttering.

"Another round!"

Edward sighed as Peter ordered me and him some nice champagne. Champagne just might be the one.

"Champagne just might be the one," Edward mocked me. "Don't you always say that? Vodka just might be the one. Tonic might just be the one. Beer might just be the one."

"Oh shut up," I retarded as I took a swig of champagne and I had a sense of knowing—as if it was déjà vu.

"Whoa, champagne really is the one," Edward said.

"Told you."

So ten hours later, I was puking from excessively drinking champagne and Alice was holding onto my stomach, pressing me close to her as I threw up in the dumpster and as I stood up, Carlisle caught me.

Peter blinked. "Ooh, Jasper has a knight in shining armor."

"And what am I?" Edward asked, suddenly tagging along with them.

"You're that annoying little pest that keeps on killing the princess—the dragon!" Peter exclaimed.

Emmett laughed. "Edward's not strong enough to be a dragon."

"And why am I a princess?" I asked them, flexing my muscles and abs. "Doesn't this show how hot I look like?"

"Oh my God! The princess has been poisoned to thinking that-that-she's a boy!" Jacob added on, pretending to be wide eyed.

Charlotte seemed sighed, crossing her arms and looked at Bella and Alice. "Boys will be boys."

**That is the truth.**

**;) Sam**


	21. Edward in ‘Dammit’ Mode – Part 1

**And...Edward and Jasper are alone together in a room.**

**Chapter 20**

**Edward in 'Dammit' Mode – Part 1**

That night as I came home, I spent the time throwing up onto the bin and I was of course with Edward, him as company and I stayed there, with my legs spread and the white sheet on me and hooked to a million wires and Carlisle was also there. "Okay, Jasper," Carlisle told me, as he looked at the monitor. "I calculated that you probably won't live very long if you don't get a liver transplant."

Oh, that liver transplant crap again.

"You might fall into a deep coma again."

When did this turn into a drama series? I didn't want to die. I had too much to live for. For one, I didn't know how Desperate Housewives ended! And—oh, and I have Alice!

"Can I…?" I started. "Can I…?" I started up again but my voice felt like it was burning up on the oven.

"He still thinks of food even when he's dying!" Edward exclaimed.

"I'm sure he's not thinking of food," Carlisle replied, sitting down beside me as Peter and Charlotte stood by the doorway and he took my hand, squeezing it tightly. "So what do you want, Jasper?"

"Uhhh…"

"Food!" Edward exclaimed.

"Edward!" Carlisle exclaimed and he turned to me with soft eyes. The Cullen's all had one thing in common: that when they pounce on you, they were tough but now, that they were just cursing their prey in their heads, they were softer. "Uh…yeah, about that…I can't reach—"

Peter walked in and Charlotte stood right beside him. "You can't reach your goals now that you know that your life is ending?" Charlotte asked, her voice was soft and I looked at her, confused.

"No, I can't reach my chocolate bar."

"Aha!" Edward exclaimed and then I smacked him at the back of his head. "He can't reach the chocolate bar but he can sure hit me."

"Not funny."

"Oh yeah?" Peter asked.

"Not funny, Peter." I repeated, using his name, adding fury to my voice. "Not funny."

"He's cute!" Charlotte added. "He's like a little puppy dog when he pouts like that." She cooed.

"I do not pout," I said.

"You're pouting." Edward shot out.

"Give me my chocolate bar." I told them.

"Jeez, fine," Peter said as he started to rummage around to find my hidden chocolate bar in the pile of mess around us. Man, my room needed to be cleaned. I needed a cleaner. I looked at Edward and smirked. He'll be a good cleaner.

"No, I won't be your cleaner."

"Gay alert," Peter said. "That's an obvious invite for you to hop in the shower."

I grimaced in disgust and crossed my arms.

"Jasper?" Edward began.

I looked up at him, still crossing my arms and asked a quick "what?"

"You're still pouting."

"Dammit!" I exclaimed as Peter brought me the chocolate bar and I ripped it out of his hands.

"Whoa," Edward blinked. "It's like Survivor Series all over again."

"Since I helped you, would you be nice enough to give me a piece…?" Peter began and I shot him a glare. Take me all. Take all of me. But nobody touched my chocolate bars.

Those who did never live to tell the tale.

Minus Jacob Black.

"So you'll think about the transplant?" Carlisle asked. "I already found a donor. She's old enough to do the transplant and is wiling enough to do it."

"Okay, I'll do the transplant. Tomorrow hopefully." I said, tired and as Carlisle got the message, he left the room and mumbled me a quick "it'll be at eight" and as Edward looked at me, sighing. "So I have to make sure you sleep right now, right?" he asked me.

"Yup. I got a bid day tomorrow." I responded.

Edward shook his head and I grabbed onto his hand and looked at it. "You know what I want to do?" I asked as I gripped tight on his hand so he won't leave and he absorbed my thoughts so that he knew what to do.

"Oh no!" Edward exclaimed, ripping my hand out of my grip.

"Fine," I shrugged. "Oh Alice…" I called her in the most seductive tone of voice.

"I can't take it anymore!" Edward exclaimed. "Fine, I'll do it. I'll do it." He gave in and started to walk outside to get what I wanted.

"Alice is so not worth this," he told himself.

And later on, he came to my room with a sheep costume and I blew up with laughter. "Oh man, my sides hurt."

Edward gritted his teeth. "Let's get this over with."

And he jumped up and down. "You look like a ballerina," I said as he danced around in his sheep costume.

"Oh, shut up," he retarded. "Sleepy yet?"

"You kidding?" I asked. "I'm wide awake."

Edward stood and took out a knife from his pocket, "hey. I can change that."

I looked at the knife then back at Edward's grimly little smile and did what I do best. "CARLISE! EDWARD'S AN INSANE SHEEP MURDER WHO WANTS TO KILL ME RIGHT NOW!"

"Dammit." Edward cursed under his breath. "He's good…"

**Don't know how I came up with this one.**

**;) Sam**


	22. Edward in ‘Dammit’ Mode – Part 2

**And soon, the mystery will be revealed.**

**Chapter 21**

**Edward in 'Dammit' Mode – Part 2**

After Carlisle's huge lecture, I was still awake.

Man, I must be really sick if I can't sleep after that and as Edward sat back down in his normal clothes, he looked at me as I struggled to put the sheets on and pretend to be asleep so that he'll leave.

"Nice try." Edward started.

"Damn." I said, taking off the sheets so that I was face to face with him. "Okay, fine, have any idea how to make me fall asleep?"

"I can read Shakespeare but then, if I do get passionate, I would like Bella to be there with me and I will miss her when I read so—"great, I didn't want to die next to a nerd who was singing Shakespeare. "How about you tell me about yourself? I already know your grades and your—um—lust for women and your addiction to drugs, anything else?"

"I will tell you absolutely nothing," I said, crossing my arms.

He looked at me into murder mode.

"Fine! When I was six years old, I ran to the candy store all by myself because there was this new type of chocolate—"

"Not that!" Edward exclaimed. "Like, about your relationship with your parents, or if you ever had a real love like me and Bella…oh Bella…"

Was I this mushy with Alice?

"Yes, yes, you were." He answered my question.

Damn. I was a nerd.

"I am not a nerd. I am a truly intelligent individual who enjoys words expressed on paper, and who—"

"Please! I'm not going to sleep. I'll die." I said, cutting him off and my brain was about to explode from all this Shakespeare talk. How old was this vampire? Was he here in the beginning of time or something?

"Ha, ha," he said, pretending to be amused.

"Okay, relationship with parents." I probed through my memories for a while. "My dad was a drunk and he loved alcohol even more than I did."

Edward let out a chorus of laughter.

"What?" I asked.

"Is it possible to like alcohol more than you?" Edward asked and I nodded my head, remembering how my father couldn't live without it and how he drank it, all the time and yeah—I guess I was just like him.

"Okay, so my father watched stuff like soap operas and would sit around all day and he and my mom picked fights all the time so I could whatever I want. That time, I brought two girls to my house to do them and by the time we were done, they were still screaming!" I exclaimed, chuckling at the memory.

"Do you ever commit?" Edward asked.

"I'm committing to Alice and she's already changed me into a better person!" I exclaimed.

"If this is the better side of you, I don't want to know how bad you were before," Edward replied. His eyes were filled with horror and disbelief and I shook my head. It can't be that surprising.

"I used to smoke al the time. In front of my parents. In front of my teachers. Didn't care. I'd drink in front of them. I could do anything. No one ever gave me limits, you know? Even when I came home with an 'F' or something, my parents were okay with it." I explained.

"These are not parents from this Earth," Edward said in amazement. "You mind if we exchange parents? Of course Carlisle is sweet but he can be extremely overprotective."

"Oh, I know," I agreed about the Carlisle thing.

"Oh My God!"

"Damn, you're such a chick."

"No," Edward stopped me, realizing something. "Did we just agree on something?"

I gasped. "I…I think we did."

"This is the end of the world as we know it," Edward added. "So anyways, finish the story."

"So whenever I wanted to do something, they'd always agree. Bungee jumping, spending a year in Peter's house—that's where I got the first time to do it with Charlotte—"I began.

"No! Images burn in my brain! Remember!" Edward exclaimed.

"Okay, fine," I sighed. "And all this time, I was just wondering when they'd say no. I'd come around, drunk, with drugs like painkillers in my hand and I'd want them to slap me or something."

"Because you were crazy," Edward added to my story.

"Hey! I'm telling the story," I snapped at him. "I did really crazy things." I pulled my hand out and showed him the scar on my arm. "Cutting."

"Why didn't you just cut your arm off?" Edward asked.

"Because then, how would I eat my chocolate and drink alcohol at the same time? Duh!" I exclaimed.

"But that's a very sad story." Edward said, now slowly sympathizing with me and I could see that from his eyes.

"How long until you hate me again?" I joked.

"About fifteen minutes."

**Review?**

**;) Sam**


	23. Jasper in Memory Lane Part 6

**Can we twist in the plot even more? **

**Oh yeah.**

**Chapter 22**

**Jasper in Memory Lane – Part 6**

_The faint dizziness feeling over washes me._

_That scene before I faint and wake up in a hospital where everything was so messed up._

_Eyes glint off in the dark._

_Eyes watching._

__

I woke up and looked around, panting softly, and then stared down at the awake Edward, almost jumping out of my head.

"We got a problem," I started.

"When don't we?" Edward asked.

"Good point," I added on. "Okay, so we're going to that transplant thing now, right? I have to tell you about this freaking little scene in my head."

"Great, because your thoughts were all blurry in your sleep," Edward explained.

"What? You read my thoughts even in my sleep?"

"Apparently, I would've killed you but I'd watch you suffer doing an organ transplant," Edward told me.

__

I was in the hospital again.

Oh no.

Did the nurses get even more un-hot or was I around too many hot girls? Yum…Alice…her hotness radiated in my mind.

"Shut up before I'll personally do the organ transplant."

"You'll be there when I do it?" I said, appalled.

"Yup," he confirmed.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

Carlisle walked in to hear me scream and he shook his head. "Are we six year olds again?"

"No, only eight years old, six year olds can't smoke," I said.

Edward smacked his head. "Eight year olds can't smoke. I can't believe I sympathized with you last night."

"Wait…that was real?" I asked.

"Oh yeah," Edward responded.

"SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE! I THINK I'M STILL DREAMING! AND…AND I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH CHOCOLTE IN MY CHOCOLATE BAR!"

"This is not worth anything anymore," Edward started.

"Oh, it's worth something, seeing my perfect body – I just hope you don't turn gay at the hotness and sexiness of my body." I said, flaunting my muscles in the chair, and opening my jacket to expose my abs.

Edward's eyes widened. "I think I'm going to be blind!" He ran off.

I nodded my head. "You weren't ready to face them and they weren't ready to see something as horrid looking as you."

"Let's take you in the operating room."

__

I was waiting for her to show up.

It was so very convenient that a hot girl would want through herself at me and try to save my life. The world will break without my gorgeousness there for girls to calm down. "Okay, I was going to tell you about last night's dream," I said to a shaking, trembling Edward

"I am traumatized for life," he said, shaking his head. "It was horrible."

"No one talks like that about my abs!" I exclaimed, running a finger from my neck to my stomach.

"Fine, tell me about the dream," he sighed.

"There was someone else there when Alice was with those bulky guys and when I fainted and woke up, this girl. Tanned skin. Black hair. Dark eyes. She looked kinda vicious…"

"You mean like her?" Edward pointed at my donor.

I looked at her clearly.

And she looked at me clearly.

We knew each other.

I was sure of it.

"Leah?"

"Jasper?"

"You know _Leah_?" Edward asked.

"In the other world, she was a werewolf," I explained and Leah's eyes widened. I guess in this world, she was a werewolf too. "In this world, all I could remember was a one night stand."

"Damn it!" Edward exclaimed.

And before he could say anything, she kissed me, hard and I found myself kissing back.

Old habits just die hard I guess.

"JASPER!"

It was Alice's voice.

Leah jumped off.

Edward was glaring at me so very coldly.

Alice's eyes were pressed with pain.

"I…I could explain…"

Dammit! Why did the girls all have to want me?

Why couldn't they like Shakespeare butt over here?

**And there's drama of course to spice a comedy up.**

**;) Sam**


	24. Leah in ‘Picture’s Worth Thousand Words’

**Sorry for the lack of updates. I was busy with my wrestling fics. But I'm updating now...no matter how short the chapter is.**

**Chapter 23  
Leah in 'Picture's Worth a Thousand Words'**

You know when you're all messed up and nothing makes sense anymore?

No?

Then fine!

I'm going to my mother!

Mommy…?

__

As much as I loved being around my most favorite people in the world, Shakespeare butt and Mr. Overprotective Daddy, were done with my surgery, Leah and I were talking with each other.

"You remember anything about the…?"

"The notebook?"

Her eyebrow arched.

"Hello! You just broke my sister's heart, smashed it into pieces!" Edward exclaimed.

"I thought you didn't want me to be with her!" I exclaimed, staring at him with an awed expression and as I stared at him, glaring. "Now, you're telling me about how I smashed her heart! Old habits die hard, right?"

"Doesn't mean that I enjoyed watching my sister break." Edward snapped.

"You didn't? Whoa, maybe it isn't obvious," I rolled my eyes.

"You're heartless!"

"Another habit that refuses to die hard."

"Aren't you going after her?"

"I…don't know…"

"You're joking, right?"

"What? I go there and kiss her under the rain or something like in all those stupid movies and she'll be happy? It doesn't work that way!"

"You can try!"

Leah sighed. "Boys…"

"Try? Try something that won't succeed? She'll never believe me!"

"She might!"

"I know her better than you do and I know that it'll be hard for her to—"

"Boys!" Leah interjected.

"What?!" both said at once, staring at her.

"The notebook… I know about it."

"Well, Jazz, since you think that the notebook is the most important thing in your life, I'll leave you alone with her." Edward left.

Two minutes passed, I can't believe I was saying this…

I missed the little idiot.

"So the notebook?" I asked Leah.

"You know how nothing makes sense anymore?"

"Oh yeah."

"The notebook…you can't find it because you're in it."

"I'm in a notebook?! Man, I didn't know that was capable of happening!"

"Well it is because you're really in a notebook! When you came around, the vampire actually put you into one of his drawings. That's his special ability. You can't find the notebook because you're in it and now, you're going through a life that doesn't make sense but it's actually a part of another story; a picture after all is worth a thousand words…"

**Review??**

**;) Sam**


	25. Jasper in ‘Let’s Save Her’ Mode

**And I finally updated! :)**

**Chapter 24  
Jasper in 'Let's Save Her' Mode**

"Oh My God…"

Finally.

Stuff made sense.

"What?" Leah asked, raising her eyebrow. "Is there anything wrong?"

Not wrong. It was like…right. I knew that at that fight, he put me and Leah in the picture and he had Alice—ALICE IS IN DANGER! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?! I shook my head as I whipped my head and tried to think about this. I mean, what can I do? Can he hear me?

"So what are we going to do?"

"The best thing I can do…"

* * *

"WHAT DO I DO?!"

Yes. The best thing I can do.

Whine.

"Oh, please, someone do something about this before I explode!" Edward exclaimed with eyes shut completely tight.

A figure outside in the shadows. All black and depressing.

That a sign?

He walked inside of the room and he leaned down towards me. "Oh, Jasper, Jasper, Jasper…I've been watching you."

"Well, I do have awesome abs."

"Focus."

I turned silent.

"You would like to get out, don't you?"

"No, I want to stay here and listen to Shakespeare butt fuss about how much he wants to kill me."

"Ah, Jasper, you haven't changed a bit."

"No. Except for the fact that I'm human and I have low blood sugar and I just got a liver transplant from a girl I had a night one stand with."

"Do you want to get out or not?"

"Yes. Yes, I do."

"I'll make a deal with you…"

"Wait! Wait. What's the catch?"

"How'd you know that there's a catch?"

"I guess."

Too much TV.

"So what's the catch?"

"You will be in the painting that I put Alice in. But there's going to be a slight change in plans…"

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see…"

* * *

When I woke up, I woke up to the sound of the ground thudding from under me and I looked around. Lost in a forest?!

Alice was here?!

I stood up.

"Alice?"

I looked around.

And there she was, standing there with a gleam in her eyes and teeth.

"Jasper!"

We embraced and she stepped back as if in shock.

"Jasper…"

"What?"

The vampire girl's eyes widened.

"Jasper…you're human."

THAT BASTARD!

* * *

**Like my twist? :)**

**;) Sam**


	26. Alice in Horrorland? Part 4

**Here you go. This is going to be the last chapter before the epilogue!**

* * *

**Chapter 25  
Alice in Horrorland? Part 4**

"Alice?"

"Y-yeah."

"Is he still around?"

Before she can answer my question, I was forced down to the floor and my eyes looked up to see that stupid vampire. Can't he give me a break?

And what a way to answer a question.

"I want to get out of here."

"Obviously." The vampire smirked as Alice flung herself in my arms. "Don't you remember me?"

I stared at him. No… I don't…

Oh no…

Those eyes…

"Jasper, you know him?" Alice squeaked out, her head on my chest, and I was the only thing that protected her from—from—

"Let's fight."

I can't. I just can't.

Remembering all he and I had together.

My stomach sloshed as I walked towards him and Alice was practically shaking in her place. "Allie?"

"You're human…you can't fight a vampire…"

I'm also an idiot.

I shook my head and walked towards the vampire. He can't hit me. He won't dare hit me, would he?

He hit me.

I wiped the drool out of my mouth as I looked at him, on the floor, and God, I was panting. What kind of an idiot am I? I was—am—a patient of low blood sugar, a druggie, and—oh, oh, I just remembered.

I took out a bottle of champagne from my backpack and he stared at me. "You carry around alcohol?"

"Emergency alcohol."

Yes, just in case I got lost and I thought I was dying and I wanted to die and stuff like that. Emergency alcohol. I drank it, the strong alcohol burning through my throat and he charged through me, as I twitched and stared. I'd probably looked crazy.

After that, it was a matter of nothing.

The way I get when I drink just the right about of strong alcohol…

Well, let's not make this a horror fest and just say that he was on the ground, burned to ashes in a matter of moments just because of my emergency alcohol. Take that, drug protests! I grinned widely as I looked back to face Alice's face.

"You…"

I grabbed onto her and made a movement to kiss her but she turned her head away. "Now, I know how Edward feels," she finally said.

I laughed as I looked down onto the remains of the vampire that—realization just hit me. This was no ordinary vampire I'd shredded and killed. I bit down my lower lip. "I'm sorry you had to do that, Jasper," her voice was soft.

"He was my father, Allie. My father."

Sad moments.

I walked towards the book and grabbed onto it, staring at it but I didn't know how he used it. Just write stuff down? I didn't know. I looked back at Alice who shared the same look and I wrote what I wanted to write down. That I'd be a vampire. But nothing happened…nothing happened at all.

What was wrong?

Why?

How do I work this damn book?

Let's face it.

I was never meant to be a bookworm.

This proved it.

"Let's go home." She said. "Maybe Carlisle can figure out a way."

"Carlisle should never know about any of this…wait, just to make sure, does Edward hate my guts?"

"Huh?"

"Okay. I know I'm back in reality. Let's go."

We walked towards the house and thoughts were in my head (yes, I thought, okay?!) and I bit my lip.

The horror was over.

Damn.

You think they'd notice I'm human?

* * *

**Review??**

**;) Sam**


	27. Epilogue

**And sadly, the epilogue.**

* * *

Epilogue

* * *

I stopped at the door of the house and looked straight at Alice, before sighing softly and kissing her head, "Allie, I don't want them to know that I'm human…you think they'd notice?"

She laughed. "Of course, they will!"

"What if I'm around Bella at once? They'd smell blood but they'd think it'll be Bella." I suggested. I seriously did not want to explain this to anyone. This was between me and Alice only. "I can make up an excuse why I'm hanging around Bella. Like to keep her safe because she's my going to be my sister or something?"

"And I foresaw something?"

"You're going to lie just because I don't want to tell them that I'm human?"

"Yes, you idiot. I love you."

I smiled as I hugged her and the way she embraced me, her scent, her body, it just fit, didn't it?

We walked inside of the house and I waited for Edward to scream but since this was the real world, he didn't. OH THANK YOU, GOD!

Man, I was hungry.

I looked at Alice and whispered into her ear, "hungry. I'm hungry."

"Oh," she said and she nodded her head as she ran out of the house and my smile widened (yes, it's possible). I looked back at them who were all staring at me as I walked towards Bella, and sat beside her.

"Where we you?" Edward asked.

"Bella…" Rosalie started.

"Yeah, Bella…" Emmett repeated. "She smells really good. Wow. She get new blood or something?"

Edward stepped back from Bella and me and we looked at each other like it was unusual and man, wasn't I a good actor? I should so be in a movie.

"Alice saw that Bella's in danger. I'm going to keep my soon to be sister in law safe if it's okay with anyone," I tried to explain.

Edward stared at her. "Can't you give us a break, Bells?" he laughed.

Great. He wasn't going to kill me or scream or shout…

"Why would I?" Edward spoke out.

"Uhh…I don't know."

"What do you know, Jazz?"

"Oh shut up."

"Did Alice tell you what kind of danger?" Edward asked.

"Nope." I watched as Alice poked her head towards the window and I knew that was my signal to leave the room.

"Where we you and Alice anyways?" Emmett asked, biting his lower lip, trying to come closer to me.

"None of your business."

Emmett laughed. "You can do it in here. You didn't have to go somewhere special," he winked.

"Oh, shut up."

I stood up and walked upstairs towards Alice and mine's room only to see her onto our bed, holding a plastic bag of food. And she grinned. "So, you're going to tell me about everything?" she stood up and locked the door so that we had our privacy. I laid back down onto the bed and grabbed onto a chocolate bar, and bit through it.

"Ooh, Jazz, you're so cute when you eat!"

"I'm always cute."

"Talk about being conceited."

"It's better than hating myself." I shrugged, biting into the bar again and looking down onto the floor. "Okay, see, I've been in this weird world where I was in the hospital…for blood sugar and a drug addiction…I still have both."

Her eyes turned soft. "Jasper…"

"It's okay. I have a damn band strapped against my wrist telling me when my blood sugar went down. Besides, I also—"

My eyes caught our TV.

"Ooh, Desperate Housewives is on!"

"Oh, Jasper…" she rolled her eyes. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Yeah…after this episode."

She laughed and sat beside me as we watched and I ate the rest of my food and felt bloated.

"Okay, Jazz…"

I was sleepy and falling asleep so she didn't say anything as I did fall asleep. Well, I know I'm not a Shakespeare fan at all—but Edward just rubbed off on me…

All's well that ends well.

* * *

**That's the end of the story. Review? Oh, and I might—just might—do a sequel to this. He can't keep it a secret forever… and Edward is bound to ask questions about Bella's "danger".**

**;) Sam**


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